Friday, 26 August 2011

oh ye of little faith







my contract has arrived through the post today. it waits for me to sign it.

i am worried. i have no faith in myself anymore when it comes to decisions. i have so many people i carry on my back and little things that require my decision just makes me panic.

if you are not taking care of a family, or a husband, then u must think i am crazy for feeling all these. but anyone who are in my position,would perhaps understand.

its like going for something i really really love and not even sure if the effects of this move will affect all the people i have on my list.


**


background:

i applied for this job one crazy early hours of the morning online after writing my thesis (that long ago!!) because i saw it was near commuting for me (thats what i thought!). trust my eyes to read Kings Lynn, as Kings Cross. (so i get confused, the names here are so redundant, one cant help it)

after i hit the SEND button, i saw the word Norfolk. I got confused even further.

in the morning Adrian thought i was crazy applying for a job in Norfolk and said, NO i cannot commute a 6 hour roundtrip drive.

but added, its a beautiful holiday county. i said, i know, my friends go there alot for holidays but i never got interested.

shame, i thought. it offers the best rotation (a term we use for general assignments before we specialize) as it gives me the best of my fave specializations..(paediatrics, stroke, brain injury and trauma and orthopaedics, mental health,etc). it will give me all that specializations after, which u hardly see nowadays being offered.

so i thought, not to feel upset, i will not probably get an interview anyways.


**

got the invite for interview three weeks ago.

Adrian said, attend the interview, because you will get a practice of future interviews. and lets make a day out of it too.

i said, ok, wow! (more excited about the day trip than the interview)

**

friday the 19th came.

the drive there was nice and pleasant. especially passing by beautiful fields.

the hospital was big and so high-tech (what was i thinking?). and everyone are so friendly.

i asked the receptionist where the PT department was, she walked me all the way there. (bonus points!)

i asked her where i could park, she took me there, and wrote for me the lists of places i could kill time, if i want to as i was an hour early. (in London and these parts, you would be lucky if the receptionist will even look your way.--NOT an exaggeration).


**

i was not nervous about the interview. you know, when you go for something you don't really care if u get it or not.

my mindset was id attend it, write down the questions and style of interview and then wait for other interviews to come. (one is on the 9th of september, and one in first week of october but are not as nice as this rotation,sadly).


then i saw the other girls that came and sat near me.

there were 5 of us all recent graduate from different universities. one from Uni of East Anglia, one from Plymouth, from Peterborough, one from Norwhich..

all of us live far bar one the girl who was a Norwhich grad lived in Kings Lynn (Norfolk) and said,she is soon to marry and has a house in Kings Lynn and wishes to get the job (desperately, i might add). In my mind, she's nice, i don't mind giving the job to her.

the rest were friendly, and chatty and were willing to relocate. all of them single so it was easy for relocation (bar me).

the man came out to give us name tags, and congratulated us because we were 5 candidates plucked out of 86 applicants.

told us that the first part of the interview was a practical test and part two was a round-robbin interview done by 7 specialists, and all 5 of us were to go around after 5 minutes of Q&A.

"here goes interview harakiri" i muttered to myself.


**

the last person to interview me asked me: "why did you apply here in Norfolk, u live so far".

i was (partly) honest. i said, "i needed a job that could offer me the best rotation to my name, and since the recession,the NHS has cut down all the budgets for good specializations for newly qualified therapists, which your hospital still offers.".

i did not tell him however that i am an ignoramus to the different towns and counties of England and that Kings Lynn and Kings Cross looked the same on paper and that they both have the same hospital name,too. and that I am NO WAY taking this job too.

he asked again "why OUR hospital?" why not 'James Piaget Hospital down the road, or ".." (i forgot the other one)..

i said " i didn't know they were hiring". ok, this was a big mistake. never under any circumstances answer this way if you were after a job. i thought this man is trying to catch me out. (oh ok, i must have said it better than that, but the gist is, i only applied to their hospital because they were hiring rotational therapists. and i might also have added that "after reading your hospital brochure, i know you offer specialized training to staff which other hospitals do not do anymore).

anyways,he wrote something on his paper and with furrowed brows. i thought this is where i FLUNK the interview.


**

adrian was sat reading his paper in the parking lot (the parking lot is surrounded by parkland, i must add). so he wasn't under the summer sun (which was in full shine that day), so he was under a shady leafy tree.

he said "that was a LONG interview". it was. i left the building by 4:30 pm and by then we were scared we'd get stuck in motorway traffic so we decided to go home and promised to come back another time to do some sightseeing.

how do u think you did? i said im sure i aced the practical test (i do 'hoisting' every day where i work right now).

and the specialist interviews were great (you can tell that the interviewers loved your answers when they start to talk about their own exeperience even if its your interview not theirs,haha)..except the HR person who asked me why i wanted to work in their hospital. i was blunt in telling him that i didnt care which hospital would take me as long as its a nice rotation. but overall, i think i answered 98 percent of what they want from someone.

A: lets charge it to experience.

ME: i shall.


**

saturday

A: what if you get the job?

Me: the plan was to not accept the job...


Me: shame we didnt look around and took pictures its sucha lovely town

A: will go holiday there..



**
sunday


A: i have a feeling you got the job

Me: i do too. but i hope i wont. im scared to move.

A:well, we can talk about it more. its doable.

Me: please, don't confuse me.

- - -

emailed my two friends: Kharla and Leah and they said, yeah, u might have to consider the move.

**

monday am:

they rang the house around 9am.

she told me i got the job i said, can i ring her back.


me: adrian we have to give an answer, id be too embarrassed to say NO they would think i wasted their time

A: they wont tell you off for not taking it. they understand you have to relocate. but, we could move.

me: really?

(we ended up discussing renting a small place in Norfolk, a cottage (in our dreams) and he could garden while i work. go out on evening walks by the field, and go to the farmers market every weekend, and come back to our house here every month)

i ended up accepting the job. the lady on the phone was happy and said, their HR department will be sending the contract for me to sign.


**

ever since monday, i get highs and lows about the move..

that's in another blog altogether.

Monday, 22 August 2011

relocating




i tiptoed around the subject. i mulled on the thought. i fannied and tossed and moped about the prospect.

the inevitable has come.

Adrian and I are relocating to a very picturesque county called Norfolk.

and i am really scared, excited, and happy and sad about the thought.

why the mixed emotions, you ask? anyone who has moved a gazillion times in their past life and just wants to be rooted to 'home' would understand the fear and sadness.

anyone who loves the prospect of a challenge and adventure feels the excitement in my shoes.


**

i dont know. i am a bag of nerves. but who am i to say NO to a fantastic job offer? (and a possibility of being in the countryside and fields, and starting afresh would not give this offer a chance?)

plus, beggars cannot be wussies.. the talks of second recession coming to europe (the world) and being someone who has a prediliction to overhoarding cosmetics,shoes and camera lenses + a bottomless gut for japanese sashimi has no right to say NO to job offers immediately right after getting my degree?

i am scared, but i think, i'm going for it anyway. you would be next to know what'll happen around the corner.

wish me luck.

Thursday, 18 August 2011

a lunch at Carluccio's..and then some at Le Pain Quotidien

one of those lunches which starts as lunch and ends up as something else. (not that, u dirty mind).

{Carluccio's then Le Pain Quotidien for desserts /South kensington}

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bread basket (or tin)







pate and toast starter



calamares for you-know-who



clam and mussell linguini



lasagna




*
enjoying the deli counter








*
at Le Pain for some sweets and coffee











carrot cake delight



flourless brownie







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and of course, myself, (who look like i just came straight out of a Spandau Ballet video read: my black blazer/puffed up hair, hehe)





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(i have so many photos to post still, the time i get to post them, i will be a grandma by then..the cuddly-huggy-kind)


Wednesday, 17 August 2011

not that u want to know. but just in case..







thank you , friends, for asking how Adrian is. he is better (judging from his appetite) and is back to his facetious self.

i somehow forget how sarky he could get until he is back to his usual self.

**


Me:
*sigh*, friends, who cancel on the night because its raining..im getting annoyed.
Adrian: yes, i agree, who want's fair-weather friends?


**

(on a discussion about how sad that we don't have babies)

He said " its sad, because you would have made a great grandma".

My face: (What?!)

He continued: (laughing), You know, you are caring ,loving,thoughtful and very cuddly-huggy-kind-of-way.

(i was not pleased with that explanation).


**

Today, i arrive from work. I saw his forehead had a little gash. I asked what it was, he said he was fixing the stairs (which was getting rickety and weak everyday, and with our weight, it was not safe), he didnt notice there was a potruding nail where he hit his head..

Me: i cannot trust u being on ur own, i get a heart attack, u end up with so many cuts. look at u! is it painful?
Adrian: no its not, i quite like it, it looks like Harry potter's forehead insigna. u dont know, i might be the chosen one.


**

today:

Me: honey, there are only two of us here in this house, but why do i always go home to at least 6 sets of knives/forks/spoons, at least 6 glasses , tea cups and plates in the sink?
Adrian: What? Im not allowed to have a party just because you're not around? (teasing mode).
Me: seriously. its not funny. its so wasteful.
Adrian: : ok, ill stop doing it. ill cancel my lunch party tomorrow.

(this scares me, i wonder if he really has a party when i'm not around).


**

can u see why i am scared he wont be around? he is the bright light to my doomsday disposition most of the time.



**

(photos from a lunch date at carluccio's last month)


the view from our table...;-)







Monday, 15 August 2011

a blip (hopefully)

i am stuck at home today because Adrian is not feeling well.

i hope its just a funny turn in his system, and nothing serious. (something stressful for his age i think is not good..an upsetting news has a different effect to someone who holds his emotions in)

last night i had to call the ambulance, because i was worried finding him on the floor. we took him to the hospital and he was so angry being in the hospital, he self-discharged.

i am so scared.

i dont know. the thought of losing the one person who have nothing but dedicated his life to me is like having life cut off itself.

i love this man, and God knows how i needed to be at work today, but id rather lose livelihood and be penniless than be without him.

scared and sad is an understatement.

i just know, the future is not worth what its worth if he's not there.

wish us well.


(and you, my loves, keep well too)

Sunday, 14 August 2011

drive-by shooting by the seaside

went via the seaside this afternoon.

it was so sunny and lovely.







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passed by the old town




a

view of the estuary




the greenery

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video


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normally, we would get out of the car when we pass by the sea and get an ice cream, today however, we were just passing through.

Saturday, 13 August 2011

what's up, friday?

i utilized my friday to a wonderful use..

we planned things for saturday but did it on friday instead..

went to the bank first. and a snack afterwards.








**
went to light candles for my mama's cousin's passing..
the Chapel of the Souls in the Cathedral if so serenely beautiful.

**





bought new shower curtains and throw for the lounge at Heals.



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coffee and cakes after



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dinner at San Francesco in Drury Lane



starters.. proscuitto en melone





a group of young japanese girls were in the next table
they were enjoying their meal and having a good chat and hearty laugh (not the loud kind,they were very decent).
i suddenly missed my girlfriends back home,
who know how to have a good time (without being rowdy) and love a good laugh around a meal.




linguini and prawns ..



spaghetti with meat sauce



Shrek the Musical..on the future-to-watch list..



the Covent garden Square on a summer night






cute market stalls

*

going home.



**
it was a lovely start to my weekend..
surely beats having to compromise my own time to be someone's free-skivvy


how did your weekend start, lovelies?