Monday, 30 May 2011

a weekend of barbeques part 2


since the next day,the monday (today) was a bank holiday, my gorgeous friends decided its time for a get together barbeque. cheryl offered her place,so we went.

adrian was tasked as the punch maker. so we had to get there earlier than everyone.

when we arrived, the host said, they lack some of the ingredients that adrian asked. so i offered to go to the shops and get the liquor.

when i got back. i was told the punch Adrian made, was so good, they needed more brandy for a second batch they were making.

adrian suggested,instead of buying more, i had to drive home again, and get some brandy Adrian stocked at home which were gathering cobwebs as he wasnt using it.

by 5:30 the gorgeous ones started to arrive. we ate,talked,ate and talked.

after having a long time sat in the garden chatting away and updating one another about each one's 1am, the music cranked up and we ended dancing to whitney houston's "i wanna dance with somebody", madonna's "papa dont preach", michael jackson's "billy jean" , taio cruz's "dynamite"..and many more i could not recall.

its funny how people forget boundaries and their professional selves when they're drunk. at least they forget about it the next day. ( three of the women cried in the group and one just fed the dog salad and spicy mussaman beef curry)

while i (the only sober one) probably need some therapy for the trauma.

(im still trying to repress memories of my friends trying to recreate "the time of my life" dirty dancing movie scene where patrick swayze trying to catch a flying Jenifier Gray in his hands, unsuccessfully).

a weekend of barbeques part 1


no pictures.

it was Adrian's political party's barbeque. they treated all those who supported them and those who ran in the local elections and their families to a barbeque afternoon. it was a group invite for 30 people, but the numbers on the ground was small when we got there. saturday had a cloudy/windy weather and it was timed together with the airshow (an aeronautics aerobatics display down by the seafront near us) so alot of people didnt turn up.

so the barbeque turned up to be a mini gathering inside the house of one of the longterm councillors village cottage (oh so beautiful,i was aching to photograph it, but was too embarrassed to ask). i was there with a bunch of politicians and their wives talking about the current state of economic affairs while all i could be deigned to chip in was about how lovely the periwinkle dinner set i was using.

its hard, when its the first time you meet people and you are put in a small lounge, close together, and they're talking about things, i am not confident talking about. oh sure, i have my opinions. but, who cares? so what i did? i chipped in things about why they should be organising a youth (or younger voters) group with a facebook fan page and all. they were all listening and nodding. maybe they thought i was from mars. facebook? what is that? i can imagine their brains must be shouting. (trust me, the age group of those who mostly attended the barbeque are those who still smoke from pipes and still think fax machines are the latest thing ever invented, Adrian looked like a baby beside them).

anyway, one of the agents was a young man in his 20s (a very intellectual one) rescued me and said, one of the downfalls they have as a party is that they concentrated on the older voters. they forgot about the young my mind, i agreed loudly. i just nodded and enjoyed my tea.

i have been saying this to Adrian over and over since i could remember, the young voters are very important because in this country,they seem to be less heard, and has a less representation in the parliament. i told adrian that there are new young blood of voters that are so passionate about that new bill of having university students pay for their tuition fees now, and these voters are so passionate about the new decisions being made for them by some ageing bloke who probably earns 50 times the average wage.

well, before this massive entry about a barbeque turn into a political essay, let me tell you, that barbeque opened up a whole new dimension in my life i never knew existed. one that involves, campaigning, politicking, intellectuals who talks with plums in their mouths, ride -on motor lawn mower (dont ask) and periwinkle dinner sets.

(PS. adrian used to be a two term councillor , and was responsible for a lot of health and safety measures brought about in the council during his he always supports the liberal-democrats as much as he could)

happy monday;-)

Tuesday, 24 May 2011

i got a pocketful a pocketful of sunshine

..thank you amoxillin 500.

my smile is back again;-)


the very reason why you should, in your damnest best to avoid being diabetic..

for a stringent flosser/religious interdental brusher/regular dentist-goer like yours truly (and if i remember correctly, always have been called "best smile" in all my kinder years), i have to suffer gum problems. one of the many complications of diabetes..

but i'm not complaining. rather that, than other organs in my body..(not yet,anyways).

apparently,because we are Southeast Asians (and also the Afro-Caribbeans), we are 10x more likely to be diabetic in the middle of our lives than our European counterparts (i read that in a hospital pamphlet). our diet is the main cause.

and if you have family history of the disease, you are double more likely to get the disease too. why I am.

most Filipinos think that Diabetes is a normal occurence, but really once you are diagnosed as such, its a death sentence. you are not going to die from the disease itself, but from its complications. more like AIDs (but in a different scale).

most of my family has it, and its sad. but im grateful, that with modern medicine the complications are kept minimum and at bay coupled with a strict GI (glucose index) diet.

so, if you are borderline diabetic. please watch out. if you could save yourself the trouble, run away from the donuts as much as you can.

and keep your glucose count stable and non-fluctuating.

(a long history of yo-yo dieting didnt help with me,either). im sure my sugar count would plummet and skydive number of times in a day in those years.

now, i could say, i am better at keeping my glucose level closely monitored. i also do not wait for my body to tell me, i need sugar. and i also am better at sticking to a bar of chocolate than an entire box (*hide). i time my food intake, and making sure i keep the levels in a steady flow.

i wish i knew about diabetes then, the way i do now. i could have avoided being one.


pocketful of doom, not sunshine,more like it ;-)

but, just sharing some bits of information about this condition. who knows, i could save one of you the pain.

Monday, 23 May 2011


*stayed up late to greet Ana,a happy birthday. so proud of you Ana, you know that..

*drugged up to my eyeballs with painkillers due to an ever recurring abcessed tooth. long story. painful.

*picking up my SADE tickets on wednesday. or thursday. i forgot now. i cant chance them sending it to me, and i'm not at home to accept the delivery. adrian's first gift for my graduation. (many to come,i concur).

*excited for THE festival of the YEAR. the London Taste Festival.(the festival where all you do is enjoy London's famous restaurants in all of Regent's park). Adrian and i have been getting VIP tickets every year. but this time, were getting VVIP. we have access to the exclusive "secret garden". what its about, i have no idea.


*fever..maybe due to the abcessed tooth.

*incessantly you-tube-ing some clips about lechon. crispy skinned, soft, breaking meat...yes, thats my kind of porn.

*sadly, i have been only having soup today due to the tooth. painful.

*and already i lost weight..mostly, from lost hair than weight. painful.


if i had a magic carpet, Adrian and i will be in cebu right now enjoying a pool day out with Ana,and her "kids". yes, my sister is celebrating her birthday with our neighbours children. lovely human being my sister..more than i could ever be.

Saturday, 21 May 2011


ive been called many names before. rogan, roger, regan, ragu, reggae, raggi and rangen..

nothing, beats this.


its a nice brand name...for impotency tablets. or a horse manure fertilizer.


notice the email. apparently, the tickets they sent to my house was sent back.

hmmn, maybe they were looking for a mr. ragolfgen.

no one in their right mind wants to admit they're named that.

not even for a sade ticket.

Thursday, 19 May 2011

oh the irony

after writing about my food addiction,and that it is hard battling this weight, the least you expect is me,to be writing about this entry.

its my diversion to my busy student brain, to allude to the goodies i have succumbed to the last few weeks,and because i have been weak.

i dont know why, ive been craving for really good burgers ever since i started my thesis (no there's no 'burger' in my paper,haha). not the macdonalds kind. yummy tasty steak burgers.

we went to richoux,down st.johns high street one day, and gave in to carnal needs (char!).


tasty juicy gourmet burger...

my kryptonite..calamares and burger and fries.

you must be thinking, "enough already, get a grip".

yes,i am a human car crash. no self pity in that admission. just sadness.

pure sadness that i am one big mess.

how about you? what have you been craving lately?

Tuesday, 17 May 2011

this has to be said

for a long time this has been playing on my mind. not only because some people also went through it but through my own experiences as well.

the superficial things people say against us, our weight,height,skin colour and our 'look', may be an issue to people who do not know us, but people who do, they see beyond it, and look past it. its not an issue to them. if they do comment about it, its more about their concern about our health, nothing catty, not at all.

when people make fun of us to our knowledge, to make us joke-worthy because they think being 'fat' is a joke for their consumption, they are in their minds, actually making sense why someone would still be 'fat' when its not the 'norm' in philippine culture. they think by saying it out loud and vocalizng it think its actually funny. it may those who are ill-mannered and ill-educated.

newsflash: we don't set out to be this weight. we don't want to be this weight, but there is obviously an underlying need to stuff ourselves with food. that is THE problem.the emotional eating is the culprit and the symptom (sign) is the weight. some people have overcome this need, this emotional eating (a great feat!), but some are still struggling with it, its a hard battle. anyone who has been on a diet and an exercise plan would agree with me when i say, its not an easy job and not everyone succeeds.

let me quote the beautiful actress, Mila Kunis (Live Magazine,May 15 issue) when she said "it took 5 months to lose 20 lbs for Black Swan, but 5 days to put it all back on" for her role in the said movie.

Ms. Kunis in her hollywood stature of physical trainers, gruelling regime of exercise and macrobiotic-thousand-dollar-per-meal chefs and staff, took such effort to lose the pounds and realized that it only takes a fry-up bacon and milkshake to put back all the hardwork to zero. what hope does that leave us mere mortals, whose schedules are impossible to attain a 5 hour day exercise training plan and cannot shell out hundreds of monies for kitchen staff that can whip up at our demand, a low-calorie-nutrionally-balanced meal?

by no means im saying to be healthy slim is impossible, because it is. but i am first to admit it is hard. a struggle for those who are battling an emotional attachment to food. it is an addiction, a sickness that needs addressing and ALOT of help and support from everyone around us (people we live with, people we socialize with).

my friend, P, who is recovering alcoholic said to me in a very empathetic tone that he knows what a struggle it could be. in his struggle for his addiction, he threw all the liquor in his cupboard, the shopping has to be done by his girlfriend (so he could not be tempted to buy booze), stopped watching tv (for fear of adverts of alcoholic drinks),and he used to say NO to any gatherings that involve meeting in places where he could order a drink, like in a pub or bar,for 6 months. Only it was recently that he slowly re-introduced himself to the world, going to the shops with his girlfriend,and enjoying a nice meal. His girlfriend (my long suffering friend,M had to stop enjoying a glass of wine in front of him too). Both their families do not invite them over for drinks, and their friends know that they're not being unsociable for the meantime, so they understand when they have said NO the past months for barbeque and dinner invites.

P said, it would be harder for people who are battling weight problems to go through weight management because you cannot totally eliminate FOOD in our lives. if he was able to throw the booze out of his cupboard and not see a bottle of alcohol for 6 months of detox, how can people go through the normal rehab procedure of eliminating food totally? people HAVE to eat. one cannot totally eliminate food from one's house/life completely.

thus, food addiction is a different devil entirely from all other addictions.

its a hard struggle and people can go through life not succeeding in this battle.

i know i have not yet. my relationship with food is that of attachment and mutual love. i live for food, and i get such a thrill from it. and to me, food should always be appreciated in its best state.

food means so much in the equation of things. in a party, the food has to be right and great for me to say i enjoyed a party.

the daily battle to win over the need to overeat is a constant daily slug. sometimes i win, most oftentimes, it wins me over. (although for the moment, i am not battling it, i am letting go for the meantime as i'm also busy with my thesis, and food has been my constant friend all throughout---my clutch,more like it).

so when i hear people making fun of other people's weight infront of the person,to make them feel embarassed about it, it angers and frustrates me. what for? why make fun of them and embarrass them?

it all boils down to education and knowledge.

look at these people who do that (comments about people's weight or appearance). normally, these people have not seen a back of a book, nor have they travelled to different parts of the world and has seen that there are 'other' norms out there. people do not fit in boxes, and people actually do come out of different colour, height and weight. and if they look/sound different, there are reasons for it.

most importantly, these are people who do not know us, our character and our skills and abilities.people who do, they actually forget about our weight on a day-to-day basis,but would tell us wholeheartedly when they feel it impinges on our ability to lead a good healthy life.

people who do know us, forget the shape of our silhouette and are attracted to the finer details of our person, our features,our personalities,our capabilities and our demeanor--what we can bring to the table, our relationship with them. our weight is just a number and has no measure to the 'fun' we bring to the equation.

so next time, you hear someone make a joke about someone else's weight and his/her friends laugh about it? please do me a favour. tell them to think of a better punchline.

(or maybe, punch the lines out of their giggles,lol)


(note: by no means am i an advocate of being overweight, not at all. i would love to be a healthy, average, size. i just hate bullying and prejudice in all forms.)

Tuesday, 10 May 2011

the possibility of wealth

i had an idea arising from events yesterday.

i went to the university for my exams and of course i saw my friends. every single one, commented " you look tired" or "bless, you look extra tired today,ragen", if you know british culture, saying to a woman they look tired, is an opposite way of saying "you look pretty today" without being mean. you don't say it, unless you are concerned they are not feeling well.

truth be told, i did feel it. but i didnt realize that it showed underneath all that natural-make-up effort i did for my interview (we had a BIG oral examination infront of a panel of multi-disciplinary teams of doctors,nurses, social workers, physiotherapists and occupational therapist as part of the pre-graduation licensure). {so there was some legibility for that tiredness,ha! lol}

i was on adrenaline high the entire morning which kept me buzzing and alert, and by afternoon, my energy was waning, by then i was getting the comments of 'tiredness' .

i went to the loo to check my face,bless my friends,they were just being polite, not only did i look tired, but i looked like i aged 20 years more than my time and just looked maka-lolooy. (this is what studying does to you, i really will not recommend it,hehe).

a eureka moment hit me.

i will become wealthy if all my entrepreneural plans will push through. i will sell photos of me to scare away pests in your household. that or maybe a BEFORE photo to plastic surgery.

only £3.99. (mahal ang printing noh!).


i came home from the exam tired. i slept for 5 hours, and woke up at 7:30 pm when adrian asked whether i want to eat dinner.


i miss my blog. but a few more weeks, back to active blogger/internet monster nasad akong job title;-)

see you,soon! x

a photo taken during holy week..i wasn't so tired then..(i decided not to post a photo of how i looked yesterday. its my moneymaker ;-)


how are you, my loyal readers and visitors? i wish that you're more rested and more glowing than i have been these days.