Monday, 19 July 2010

It was always on a Sunday

It was always on a Sunday.

She would be silently teary eyed beside me, i could hear her muffling her sobs everytime the entrance song is sung by the choir, the Alleluiah's are recited, or the church organs reverberate through the church's ancient walls.

I am always reminded of Mama and her tears during mass everytime i hear mass from the church.

Mama said, she really gets moved by the masses she hears here. It apparently shocked her, the first time she heard mass in England, the choirs and the ambiance of the church just gets her teary eyed.

So everytime im in church now. I get teary eyed.

Not because im so moved by the organ musician, or the choir's angelic singing (which is quite touching i must say), but because, i miss her.


You must try hearing mass here too. Its a different kind.

Its so effective and powerful, its moving.


Some images of Mama after going to our local church.

she fits right into the place, doesnt she? im praying she will want to come back here.

the last time she was here, she was getting bored. and refusing to go out anymore. she would rather stay warm inside the house and cook for us.

My mama..i will always need her, no matter how old i get.

Mama's a good photographer=) she took this photo=)

Adrian's brunch..eggs benedict and english breakfast

mama's food (french baguette and bacon)..i didnt take photos of my food. (it was pancakes)

a loveletter to Adrian scribbled while waiting for the meal..

it said: " Dear Adrian, you are the most generous soul i know. You are a lovely husband. Love, R, xxx".


hug your moms for me right now..

Saturday, 17 July 2010

just a thought

at the training today, i used an old notebook.

i saw this scribbled on my handwriting in one of the pages.

"Work is two kinds; first, altering the position of matter at or near the earth's surface; second telling other people to do so. The first kind is unpleasant and ill paid, the second is pleasant and highly paid"..---Bertrand Russell.

i remember where i got it from, from one of the placement rotations i did last year.

it caught my eye obviously because i found the saying interesting and somewhat true, yet a little inadequate.

it obviously referred to manual work and managerial /higher position work.

what the respectable Mr. Russell did not mention that work has now evolved and that there is the third kind. the one that uses neither brute force nor verbal commandments to subordinates..but one that uses creativity and imagination, and that job satisfaction is highly important basing not on one's payment and currency exchange but instead, on self fulfillment after one's productivity output and good customer/client feedback.

i tell you what, Occupational Therapy is beautiful. it combines my creativity that i normally would utilise on my hobbies, and it uses academic grounding or whatever is left of my cerebral functions.

treatment of my clients are depending on how and what i think would suit their personality and their wishes, not because its what a medical book is advising me to. (obviously with adherance to clinical guidelines).

where else can a medical practitioner recommend "tap dancing and gardening" as client treatment, and "art appreciation" as part of their rehab programme?

only in my profession.


alot of people i know can be very good Occupational Therapists.

(in fact, you my friends, who are planning to retrain for a new degree, try looking into OT).

Most friends i have think outside the box, are very creative, love the arts infused with medical and scientific knowledge (because we have to, all treatment are justified on why it is chosen) and throw in the interest of psychiatry and pyschology together, with an element of nurturing and caring quality, voila, an OT in the making.

Yes, you, can be an OT. Look into it. You just have to jump over the tedious studying hurdle. And if you are a studious person by any chance, you will love it even more. (Note the word 'studious', not 'bookish' as bookish types tend to be stick-in-mud,and have difficulty thinking-on-the-spot, a very important core skill in therapy).

And if you are also a lackadaisical person, you wouldnt be able to manage it too, as the sciences, are an important foundation to put a backbone to the profession. and yeah, the emphasis on it actually throws you off centre initially.

You just have to be the right sort of balance of a person. And from people i know and friendships i have formed: i just know, my friends are the sort of people who i know could work with my client group.

And run away at the end of the day, smiling (and blogging) about it=)


i am just everyday humbled by the people i work with. they are such an interesting bunch.

and i wish you were there today to know what i mean.=)


seriously, if you are planning on retraining for a degree, look into Occupational Therapy. (not to be confused with Occupational Health-- OH is not a profession, it is a department that deals with Work health concerns like back problems, stress at work, injury at work and safeguarding and regulation of diseases/illnesses at the workplace ).

Occupational Therapy is an allied medical degree that is currently still being debated as at the World Federation of OT conference whether it is Art or Science.

although you end up with a BSc degree, you end up nothing less but be creative.

you can email me too for questions if you are interested..x


photo: the river thames, Maldon Estuary..

Wednesday, 14 July 2010

the sun has set

(boracay sunset, January 2010)

is it me, or there is something
that when i see the sun setting
so beautifully,
it tugs me to the point of sadness?


i wonder who else feels that way when they see the sun settling down for the day?

Monday, 12 July 2010


there are no regrets in my life..only lessons.

and i pray and pray that my memory is good enough to remember them :-)

Sunday, 11 July 2010

india and elaine

i am looking forward to my visit to india this august. first, because it will be my first working holiday. second, as i am photographing two weddings, 1 week apart, i have at least a few days to tour the place, and see some sights.

the groom, my friend C, has booked the group in a 5 day tour around the southern region of india (more on this itinerary on a different blog).

so Adrian and my plan to see the Pink City-Jaipur is cancelled because the 5day leeway we have, is booked for a (free-expense paid) trip to see museums, elephant safaris, boat and river tour, a road trip to a tea plantation, as well as a few nights stay on a riverboat house (exciting!).

so, Taj mahal and Jaipur will be postponed for the next trip to india*grin*


what's exciting about this trip too is its a number of firsts for me. first to photograph a friend's wedding (someone who is not a stranger recommended by someone, or saw an advert of mine) . a first to do a back-to-back wedding, and a first destination one. the opportunities to do weddings abroad were few and far between and always on a wrong timing.

one was for a Majorca spain wedding--i had a wedding on the same day (plus my schengen visa expired already, and i hadnt enough time to apply for one), and another one was for Tanzania in December 2009(but i was about to go to Cebu--another blog entry).

another first for me, as its the first time, id be travelling with a group of friends to an entirely different country for an occasion where they could see me in action, and a first time to do two countries back-to-back (india and dubai).

im so excited about all these prospects.


all of C's friends are going to be there. some, i have met during his 30th birthday mountain hike. now that he works in the US, he is bringing some of his American friends too.

one of the people i will have the opportunity to stay in a house with (C is putting us up in a house), apart from our common friends, is Elaine W.

I met E during the mountain hike in the Peak District and eversince then weve been communicating via Facebook. She was one of the most experienced climbers that day, and she, (together with C) made me appreciate/like climbing.

Without E, i wouldnt have finished the climb, as i was so inexperienced, and i climbed before i could walk, lol. Hiking for 18 miles on plain land is tiring, try doing that on peaks and mountains.

She walked with me all throughout and she gave me verbal support all throughout, taught me the proper breathing, and techniques how to get down from slopes.

she was a great support and a very patient teacher as well, considering i was the slowest in the group (she climbed the Himalayas and Snowdon) but she chose to walk with me, and talk me through it. Considering she was fast and more agile, (its a mockery as i was the next youngest to C during that hike), she didnt show any impatience with the very "whiny" me.

And whats most awesome about this person, is that, she also was a Gymnast, represented Great Britain, to compete during Nadia Comeneci's time.

here's her Olympic Profile

here's some photos of Elaine during our climb..

that;s her, planning the next leg...(up until this day, i could not believe i climbed Mam Tor)

at this time, we were worried because the wind was too strong..we decided where to get cover..

this was after the climb, our walk back towards the B&B we were staying at

this was the during one of our "rests"

at one of the lower peaks on our descent..Elaine is like that, she goofs around.

Thursday, 8 July 2010


i almost had the urge to open a spam mail titled "Babies from china for sale".

but i didnt. it goes to show how broody i am

i didnt open it because one: i know its a con for gullible people.

second: because it will only confirm how desperate i am (*sniggers at self*).

blame it on babies i see every single day of my life. they're just so cute and adorable.

and of course, the maternal instinct in me is kicking in.

it has since 2003,hehe.

but really, how can i be a good mother when i could hardly be bothered to do some running around and playing endless in the park? (im too lazy)

i can never be a good mother that i can only take coo-ing adorable ones, and when they start to cry, i develop a migraine.

i love waking up late (when its a weekend).

i love staying up late (every night).

and with my health problems, the child will end up being my carer when s/he is 5 years old.

all these point to me being an unsuitable mother.

but all's not lost. there are some things i could do, in my own humble way.

for sure: the child will have the best parties and photos any child could ask for.

and if its girl, she'll have a cosmetic collection fit for celebrity.

so universe, 2 out of 10, is better than nil.

Monday, 5 July 2010

today..crazy..whirlwind..and a love email

(1st pic: salmon sashimi--had two plates of that! really sweet and fresh.. 2nd pic: ebi katsu..3rd pic: chicken katsu,ebi tempura and veggie rice..i could go back again tomorrow..)

there are pockets in our anatomy that needs filling. and some food can be medicinal. and im not even talking about the stomach as the pocket. im talking more anterior and more distal.

that pocket holds alot of memories, some with people, some with events, and oftentimes, linked together with food. mine is anyway.

if your resistance is strong, you are one of the lucky few. but i belong to the majority of those who succumbed to the calls.

i caved in. a temporary kick. an instant satiation of an animal instinct.

wolfed down what my brain told me to get, and made the most of the opportunity to.

the carcass, nothing but colorful plates holding bits and bobs of the art that was there before.

today, i refilled. i came out my stomach amply sufficient, my heart, refueled. it will get me going.

because today i had a mission.

i went to soak in the busyness of the city that holds the other life of me. it holds so much of my person at this very moment that wherever i may rest in my golden years, the city's name will tattoo its name on my fibre.


the crowds,oh the business-like almost rude, brash pedestrians, who in the day, keep themselves to themselves,give the city its character. dignified and snobbish, regal and imposing. almost heartless, even. yet there's something about this city, you fall in love with, every single time. and at night, its crowd disperse, or converse into a much more convivial mood, and as the glittering lights flicker in the distance, the once cold non attached pedestrian becomes the hearty laughing maiden, or the lass with the disco shoes, hopping its way to your steps.

its the city of magic, london is to me.

especially if your goal is stock up on all things bright and beautiful (cosmetics,lol).

first off was carnaby route. oxford street. then bond street. then i ended up in covent garden where i ended up like a child finding my presents under the christmas tree.

(carnaby sign for my refill from MAC: liquid fix, blotting powders, etc....then screenface at covent garden--its one of the few places make up artists go to for industry make up..located at the heart of theatreland, covent garden, its a treasure trove for people buying for working stuff..i get my correcteurs there, and falsies-and some really good concealers for heavy lighting).

i would love to show you my new buys. but its same oh-same oh, the usual stuff, but the only difference is, the bases i got today are for darker skin tones..for the light afro-caribbean and black skintones. i will photograph them tomorrow once i have organised my bag.


and whilst just finishing my lunch, i received this email from Adrian. he doesn't say much but he can sense my thoughts and my reluctance to take tomorrow's job (quite a big one, i might add).

and he could sense i wasn't looking forward to make up buying on my own.

but his sensitivity and thoughtfulness just made me rush everything i was doing, and rush and hurry home to him.

his lovemail via his school email address,LOL.

he is sweet, no?

sweet in his oldschool, boarding school educated kind of way,haha. thats what my husband is: a strong intelligent big thoughtful man, yet a soft bear. cuddly,gentle and most of all, sweet..

(PS; just in case he reads this: because lately, he knows about my blog now too,haha..he asks me open it for him

this is in no way to say that my husband is perfect, he has his flaws but nothing too big that is not overtaken by his virtues *wink*).


and it goes without saying: all photos from the iphone..=)

Friday, 2 July 2010

bora day 3 (this was the snorkelling/island hopping day)

all photos from my canon G10..

something to cheer me up..


previous posts:


we woke up on our third day in Boracay. After a very lazy day the day before, which was spent lounging and eating to our heart's content, we promised a day of island hopping and seeing neighbouring islets on this day.

we hired a boat, and they took us to crocodile island. (due to the shape of the rocky islet similar to that of a crocodile's shape). it was also the hottest spot for snorkeling due to the abundance of school of fishes in the spot.

everyone went for a snorkel, except myself, Mama and baby Mika.

the rat pack..

Mama was nervous the whole time. she doesnt like having her entire family in one boat (long story). she is one great swimmer my mama, but when talking about the entire family couped up in one boat, there is history she doesnt like. we had to force her to enjoy it.

i miss this little girl..i fell in love with her when i met her. in fact even before meeting her in person.

she made coo-ing noises the whole time. she likes the rocking motion of the boat.

other facets of the island.. karla and myself (bottom R).

snorkellers. can you spot adrian? he couldnt snorkel much as he was so bouyant. it was funny.

why do the youngsters enjoy adventures more? i am such an old person. but thats me.


the waters were choppy and some of the group were getting sick from the choppy waters.

the hired boat toured us around and gave us a 360 degree tour of the island.

we ended up at Pukka beach/islet for some lunch..

private beaches..and on top Right, is the rumored Pacquiao beach house. i could not confirm as the tour guide was very convinced.

the bottom photo is a photo of Shangrila Boracay..its beautiful


trivia: apparently the more secluded Pukka beach was many a times where filipino movies were shot. i can understand, as there were not much people around and there were not much to see, only a vast shore area (not as fine as the sand where we rented our house), and a handful of laidback restaurants.

enjoying photo moments by the sand.

we were famished, when we got there, so we ended up eating loads
our lunch was an array of grilled chicken, and pork belly, sinigang na bangus, and sinigang pork, chicken curry and grilled fish.

after lunch we decided for a little posterity sake at the beach area.

and yes, i still have hundred (photos) coming up from this day..x


i know this may not interest you, i need this for my sake. nostalgia overload..and im just homesick.

proper homesick.

Thursday, 1 July 2010

gotta change

im taking stock of myself lately.

all the self-reflections, the thinking and self admonishing, it all points out to "change".

so many things need to change that it scares me because it just shows how wrong and how uncool i was.

-first and foremost, i need to change my eating habits. but i will not bore you how.

-secondly, my spending habits. i have been buying alot of toot and junk, i dont even use. jsut because they look "cute" or one of my hoarding fetish (read: paper, pens, make up, cutleries,books, etc).

-third, the way i am.

there is being emotionally available. for each and everyone around me. and there is too non dsicriminating emotional- availability that causes self destrcution.

and because of that i expect the same. in reality, that doesnt happen. because thats just impossible.

and the very people who could give you that day in and day out, you dont even appreciate it (my husband).

i need to start focusing and being more attentive and more grateful to people who give me time and attention generously.

first off: Adrian--who never waivers. who never falters. who never stops.

and to people who have always been there from the very beginning.

and in doing so, change in being too demanding, and being too clingy and needy. i shall not be that anymore. its ugly, its self demeaning, and i just end up losing respect for myself.

just saying that, makes me cringe.

-"me" time. i need to be more selfish to be selfless. i cant give something unless i have it. i cannot be happy for someone, if i exhausted up myself to that point of unhappiness.

-emulate Adrian. my sister Ana always said that she loves Adrian's nonchalant attitude. I do too. I am so in awe how he doesnt care what people think. Most of the time, he is oblivious to it. While i am the exact opposite, Maybe thats why my husband is such a "happy" chillled relaxed person, because he caters to his own happiness, and his needs and not caring what others think.

-and i need to stop buying high heels (stilleto -type). nuff said.

(no matter what, i can never wear one, after 1 hour of being in them. i have lost the window of opportunity in my twenties, and now, im doomed to flats and, if lucky and with the right trousers, just platform heels).


there are so many more changes i want to mention but i could only keep it to myself for the meantime.

and with that, let the evolution begin.