the superficial things people say against us, our weight,height,skin colour and our 'look', may be an issue to people who do not know us, but people who do, they see beyond it, and look past it. its not an issue to them. if they do comment about it, its more about their concern about our health, nothing catty, not at all.
when people make fun of us to our knowledge, to make us joke-worthy because they think being 'fat' is a joke for their consumption, they are in their minds, actually making sense why someone would still be 'fat' when its not the 'norm' in philippine culture. they think by saying it out loud and vocalizng it think its actually funny. it may be..to those who are ill-mannered and ill-educated.
newsflash: we don't set out to be this weight. we don't want to be this weight, but there is obviously an underlying need to stuff ourselves with food. that is THE problem.the emotional eating is the culprit and the symptom (sign) is the weight. some people have overcome this need, this emotional eating (a great feat!), but some are still struggling with it, its a hard battle. anyone who has been on a diet and an exercise plan would agree with me when i say, its not an easy job and not everyone succeeds.
let me quote the beautiful actress, Mila Kunis (Live Magazine,May 15 issue) when she said "it took 5 months to lose 20 lbs for Black Swan, but 5 days to put it all back on" for her role in the said movie.
Ms. Kunis in her hollywood stature of physical trainers, gruelling regime of exercise and macrobiotic-thousand-dollar-per-meal chefs and staff, took such effort to lose the pounds and realized that it only takes a fry-up bacon and milkshake to put back all the hardwork to zero. what hope does that leave us mere mortals, whose schedules are impossible to attain a 5 hour day exercise training plan and cannot shell out hundreds of monies for kitchen staff that can whip up at our demand, a low-calorie-nutrionally-balanced meal?
by no means im saying to be healthy slim is impossible, because it is. but i am first to admit it is hard. a struggle for those who are battling an emotional attachment to food. it is an addiction, a sickness that needs addressing and ALOT of help and support from everyone around us (people we live with, people we socialize with).
my friend, P, who is recovering alcoholic said to me in a very empathetic tone that he knows what a struggle it could be. in his struggle for his addiction, he threw all the liquor in his cupboard, the shopping has to be done by his girlfriend (so he could not be tempted to buy booze), stopped watching tv (for fear of adverts of alcoholic drinks),and he used to say NO to any gatherings that involve meeting in places where he could order a drink, like in a pub or bar,for 6 months. Only it was recently that he slowly re-introduced himself to the world, going to the shops with his girlfriend,and enjoying a nice meal. His girlfriend (my long suffering friend,M had to stop enjoying a glass of wine in front of him too). Both their families do not invite them over for drinks, and their friends know that they're not being unsociable for the meantime, so they understand when they have said NO the past months for barbeque and dinner invites.
P said, it would be harder for people who are battling weight problems to go through weight management because you cannot totally eliminate FOOD in our lives. if he was able to throw the booze out of his cupboard and not see a bottle of alcohol for 6 months of detox, how can people go through the normal rehab procedure of eliminating food totally? people HAVE to eat. one cannot totally eliminate food from one's house/life completely.
thus, food addiction is a different devil entirely from all other addictions.
its a hard struggle and people can go through life not succeeding in this battle.
i know i have not yet. my relationship with food is that of attachment and mutual love. i live for food, and i get such a thrill from it. and to me, food should always be appreciated in its best state.
food means so much in the equation of things. in a party, the food has to be right and great for me to say i enjoyed a party.
the daily battle to win over the need to overeat is a constant daily slug. sometimes i win, most oftentimes, it wins me over. (although for the moment, i am not battling it, i am letting go for the meantime as i'm also busy with my thesis, and food has been my constant friend all throughout---my clutch,more like it).
so when i hear people making fun of other people's weight infront of the person,to make them feel embarassed about it, it angers and frustrates me. what for? why make fun of them and embarrass them?
it all boils down to education and knowledge.
look at these people who do that (comments about people's weight or appearance). normally, these people have not seen a back of a book, nor have they travelled to different parts of the world and has seen that there are 'other' norms out there. people do not fit in boxes, and people actually do come out of different colour, height and weight. and if they look/sound different, there are reasons for it.
most importantly, these are people who do not know us, our character and our skills and abilities.people who do, they actually forget about our weight on a day-to-day basis,but would tell us wholeheartedly when they feel it impinges on our ability to lead a good healthy life.
so when i hear people making fun of other people's weight infront of the person,to make them feel embarassed about it, it angers and frustrates me. what for? why make fun of them and embarrass them?
it all boils down to education and knowledge.
look at these people who do that (comments about people's weight or appearance). normally, these people have not seen a back of a book, nor have they travelled to different parts of the world and has seen that there are 'other' norms out there. people do not fit in boxes, and people actually do come out of different colour, height and weight. and if they look/sound different, there are reasons for it.
most importantly, these are people who do not know us, our character and our skills and abilities.people who do, they actually forget about our weight on a day-to-day basis,but would tell us wholeheartedly when they feel it impinges on our ability to lead a good healthy life.
people who do know us, forget the shape of our silhouette and are attracted to the finer details of our person, our features,our personalities,our capabilities and our demeanor--what we can bring to the table, our relationship with them. our weight is just a number and has no measure to the 'fun' we bring to the equation.
so next time, you hear someone make a joke about someone else's weight and his/her friends laugh about it? please do me a favour. tell them to think of a better punchline.
so next time, you hear someone make a joke about someone else's weight and his/her friends laugh about it? please do me a favour. tell them to think of a better punchline.
(or maybe, punch the lines out of their giggles,lol)
**
(note: by no means am i an advocate of being overweight, not at all. i would love to be a healthy, average, size. i just hate bullying and prejudice in all forms.)
(note: by no means am i an advocate of being overweight, not at all. i would love to be a healthy, average, size. i just hate bullying and prejudice in all forms.)
14 comments:
Chel, I am with you. I know how hard it is to lose weight. I've been trying for months now and all I lost is what--5 lbs?! In college, I struggled for being too thin and I couldn't get myself to gain weight even after eating too much. I always believe that there are other factors to weight than just food and exercise. Our body is a mystery and things can happen in there that we may not understand. And to solve the problem is like solving a mystery. I have a co-worker who's a triathlete and goes to bootcamp almost everyday. She is very energetic and has the strengths and all, but she is still overweight! I despise people who make fun of others because of their weight. My cousin J and I often share each other's stories about how people back home (in PI) make such a big fuss about us gaining weight after we had our babies. Well, hello??? It is annoying! But hey, just remember--we are beautiful regardless of how much we weigh. My friend Kai from Cebu (who's also on the heavy side), when teased about her weight would simply laugh it off and say to the other person, "I may be fat, but you're ugly and I can always diet!" ;-)
battling with ignorance is a far worst problem than battling with weight. i'd rather be fat than bogo. hehehe
to be happy and be the best of ourselves and not to hurt others is the way to live.
@Liza: i agree with every sentence you said,Liz..my point also is,we know people can make fun of us, in all aspects, they can do so, but ngano i-embarass man gyud and ipakita to everyone na pakaulawan ta, to make jokes of us..be discreet..;-) sus Liz, i agree,we are more than our weight;-)
@Chichi:hahahha, battling with ignorance is the hardest battle of all chi..;-)
I agree with Chichiroo! "Battling with ignorance..." It's the culture... it's the way things are. It's always the weight, just like the weather (from my side of the world). It's the lack of a more significant topic. It's the lack of something, period.
@Therese:hahahaha, nahutdan gyud ug topic? maypa maghilom nalang,hahaha;-) manaway kung manaway, ayaw pakaulawi ang tawo. ngano sad gyud nang mga hinawayon mao na nuon walay ikapakita? the paradox of ignorance;-)
Chel, sakto gyud ka--people are entitled to their own opinions. So what if they think we're fat? But they should just keep it to themselves. Usahay, i-post pa gyud sa Facebook ang ilang comment--grabeh!
Oh, and I so agree with Tiris--kanang kugihan manaway, they got nothing better to do! LOL
ang masasabi ko lang ay...... ang hirap magpapayat! lolz...
i hear ya .. i hear ya..
Chel, sakto gyud ka--people are entitled to their own opinions. So what if they think we're fat? But they should just keep it to themselves. Usahay, i-post pa gyud sa Facebook ang ilang comment--grabeh!
Oh, and I so agree with Tiris--kanang kugihan manaway, they got nothing better to do! LOL
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mao gyud Liz..if they think were fat, no need to say it to make us a butt of jokes..because we dont make them a joke by not saying out aloud their addiction to all sorts of prohibited stuff and poor hygiene,hahaha..because we just dont..it should not be a joke, because there is an underlying problem there. if their addiction is gamnling,alcohol,drugs,etc, its their call..but they should not make fun of my addiction (sad but true).
hahaha, sakto gyud ni's Tiris..;-) basin dili busy ang mga hinawayon;-)
ang masasabi ko lang ay...... ang hirap magpapayat! lolz...
i hear ya .. i hear ya..
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hahaha, kataw-anan man ka Mai oi..sus kun ikaw gilisdan ka, samot nagyud ko..but, i havent lost hope, u were one of those who always policed me to lead a healthy lifestyle..i miss that. but one day, ill get back on that again..one step at a time;-)
"my relationship with food is that of attachment and mutual love. i live for food, and i get such a thrill from it. and to me, food should always be appreciated in its best state."
--- you are so right chelo. everything you wrote here, is exactly how i've felt about the issue since before i can remember. and yes, it's a hard addiction to break.
"my relationship with food is that of attachment and mutual love. i live for food, and i get such a thrill from it. and to me, food should always be appreciated in its best state."
--- you are so right chelo. everything you wrote here, is exactly how i've felt about the issue since before i can remember. and yes, it's a hard addiction to break.
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i feel it so,Pat..i struggle with it..and its a daily battle..one day, we will overcome this addiction..;-)
but i'd like to add - there are worse things than being fat--- being cruel, spiteful and vindictive; being stupid, small-minded, and shallow; having nothing to live for except yourself --- those are so much worse than being fat.
@patricia: you said it,pat..i couldnt have said it any better;-)
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