its almost her birthday

***



i've always prided on making the most of having a sister. (well, i could also say about that with regards to making the most of my cousins too,LOL).

i made sure that first of all, yes, i am figurehead "ate", yet at the same time, i'm the friend,despite the generation gap.

i'm so lucky 'coz when Ana came here, i realised and knew much much more of her and her passions. Although i have long been proud that i know her well enough to push her in the right direction, i know much more of her too to acknowledge that she cannot be pushed to any direction she doesn't want to go to.

Alot of people (who are not close to us) have this impression that Ana is quite spoiled and pampered. But what a few people only know, that yes, she is pampered and is given such material blessings by the older sister because she doesn't ask, and most often than not refuse to (maybe because i dont wait to be asked and i hate my generosity being refused to,Lol), but spoilt she is not.

She waits when she is given,and what she is given, and actually refuses lavishing her (although i still do). And she actually works hard for them too (great grades always help).

Take the recent example is her birthday this year. i wanted her to have a big party, but she refused that. So we compromised, and still she refused an over-the-top idea i had in mind (she doesn't want a fully decorated room). She said she'll make her own centrepieces if she has to (oh she likes crafty things like that).

If it were up to me, Ana would have had a debut party on her 18th worthy of someone getting married to a prince--but no,no,no. She doesn't want ballroom gowns and ballroom masquerade (coz thats basically "ate"'s idea of a party,LOL), Ana wanted more laidback, beach affair. So we compromised, she had a debut in a beach, wearing a semi- beach gown, 100 guests, catered and DJ'd, and a cotillon. (OK so she got the beach part!)


If you know her well enough she is the exact opposite of me when it comes to socializing. She is actually different to me in most things (but we always have had a bond over food and the creative arts).

She hates having to please other people and smile because she has to (because she's in a party). its not because she is antisocial, she's just normal. It's the "ate" who is overly social,haha.


And as much as she sounds all too 'gushy' and 'young' in most things, discuss serious matters with her, you get the sense youre talking to someone of your own age (the advices i get from her just sometimes makes me speechless).

It must be my fault. I always have laid on her things that i want---sometimes forgetting that this person/individual, although wholly my blood and flesh (since we both come from the same parents, and not because she's my daughter,haha), is an entirely being to herself. But she agrees to most of it though, bless her, because she wants me happy. But all this girl wants is a good time, less fuss, less drama and less 'samok'. But with me as her sister, i think she just has to contend to the fact that until i keel over and die, i still have an 'opinion' on things that she engages in, and things that involve her.


And because its almost her birthday, i just wanted to say that i really appreciate all that she is right now, and all that she will be.


***


Happy birthday on Monday Kai.



You make me one happy sister.

summer, you crazy bugger

its crazy.

you see yourself caught up in a few cloudy grey days, then bam! summer catches you.

its come early too. it was sending feelers when my sister was here for her visit. and when she left, a week of rain and clouds stayed. and then some.

then now, summer has come full on. apparently this weekend is the start of the hottest month.

i am loving and hating it at the same time.

love that i could just not blowdry my wet hair, and not get a cold/flu after decidedly having the wind dry it. i love that i could just be wearing one layer of clothing and not get a whole jumble into the washing bin.

but i hate knowning that the sun is out and dancing in all its glory, yet im indoors knocking a few thousands off my wordcount on my reports.

i hate that the beach is beautiful under the sun, yet too chillylfor swimming or being near it even.

most of all, i hate that i left the best beaches at home.

and im here, in a land although originally foreign --yet my heart has also start to call home.

so yes, summer, crazy you...you come up behind me and leave me pondering of home. past and present.


***

here are some photos from my only recent beach experience..
(and probably the only beach experience i will have for this year)


boracay photos always most remind me of childhood summers..




we went and played in the whitest of sands..Pukka beach






we rented this beautiful house for 5 nights..four bedroom palatial cottage. just perfect for a big family.






and spent wonderful time with family, just being in our own little world and pretend we live in the island.



***

i will be posting my boracay photos soon,.i am so backlogged of photos, and updates, they're not called updates anymore, it will be called up-lates,haha.

(i still have blogs regarding my sister and i travelling around town--and im having a headache trying to catch up.)...

unpeeled

wouldnt it be nice to feel that you have unloaded and dished out all the nitty gritty of your days?

wouldnt it be so nice just to bawl your eyes out and let persistence try to decipher the sobs?

wouldnt it just be nice to be able to shout when you want to? punch when you feel like it? and eat cake like calories are unheard of?

wouldnt it be nice to be just peeled? naked?


***


i just dont know what to write, except, im susceptible to deep thinking and pondering right now.


bad habit.



***

how about you? are you peeled?


or are you fully covered and suffering in silence?




photo: myself, taken by my sister Ana..

i am...

its university day tomorrow and wednesday.

normally id feel 'tired' thinking of the sessions and the uninspiring lecturers i'd have but its different recently. ( and the drive! the drive!... driving 51 miles is not a trek you want just to sit in a cold classroom and get lectures after lectures..and thats just one way.)

but not this time. i have been welcoming the thought of university blahness for the last couple of weeks.

id rather do something that takes my mind off things that is not productive of me.

like my present toothache.

im back on painkillers again.

i fear for my kidneys.

and my memory.

***

i miss so many people right now. i miss them, and most of all i miss my father.

i wish i had the chance to get him to me before he died.

he was the one who instilled curiosity about cool Britannia for me. my father was a booklover and he introduced me to the Beatles, Princess Diana, the monarchy, Queen and the Sterling pounds. He was also the one who taught me who Mary Quant and Twiggy were, as well as British films.

he would have loved being here. he would have hated the cold, but he would have loved being in england.

the year he died,2007, was the year he was set to travel to me. his passport just been finalised, (and the legality we have to undergo just to get it).

but destiny proved different.

he died before he could send off for his visa applications.

i feel emotional remembering it, but not sad.

i just wish i could have hugged him one more time.

***

who are in your thoughts right now?

***

photo: the London Eye from the other side of the bank..

coffee house romance

there's this little bistro down leigh high street where Adrian and i love to frequent especially after church or whenever when we're about in leigh at lunch time.


Today, we didn't waste time moping about in our pyjamas. (mind you, two extra hours just laying about in bed reading was heaven).

So what to do on a sunday when the weather isn't that great? We ended up in Leigh to have brunch and do some browsing.


Just sharing some photos taken by the iphone.






adrian and i...we love our sunday brunches..

its such a lovely european bistro..and cake house too..x

hers..and his...

love their interiors..and their cakes.

some self-loving

again, myself...and some closed shops just because its sunday.

***

something to look forward this week:

apparently, the weather's going to be hot and sunny again starting the middle of the week. looking forward to that.