the crossover

There was a time, many may moons ago, i was committed to be single forever, and be contented with life as a single, outgoing, financially independent career woman in-charge of her life, and to be with friends, male or female for my choosing to suit my carefree lifestyle.

Perhaps it was the heartache talking (from a traumatic betrayal), and the jadedness over how easily love and relationships need work and passion to be strongly built over time, yet broken overnight. Whatever it was, it was the focus. The conscious decision.

 I did not set out to meet Adrian. Sure, I was free, roaming the galleys of the dating world (virtual/physical), but i was not in the mood for a steady relationship. Romance,yes. Relationships, no.

Until a man who sounds and acts like that heroic, chivalric, antithesis to the bad-boy who broke your heart (and the many hopeless ones you kissed after him), arrives in your doorstep and grabs you in your waist , kneels infront of you and professes commitment and love and laughter in between, who wants to pass that up? It may not have not sounded as simple or overdramatized as that (in my experience, it wasn't and probably yours wouldn't be either), but indeed, when the chance meeting of the kindest, most charming and most intellectually stimulating person who can hold your defective attention span for far than anyone can, that was it for me. The deal-breaker as it were.

Ok, he didn't look exactly like the knight-in-shining armour in my dreams (and by far no means, i am disillusioned to think i was the replica of the pin-up poster girl on his fantasy bedroom wall,either) but if he makes you feel like you are the that girl with the perfect bouncy hair in the pantene commercial, or gave you the swagger like that lady who was chased by a group of hunky lotharios from the sexy music video you longed to star in---then maybe, this is it, the man who makes you star in your own romantic lovestory.

Fantasy feelings achieved aside, if you had a go at giving people who didn't make you feel half as important and half as beautiful as this one, what is there to lose? Your heart? I thought to myself, damn me, so be it if it breaks twice. If it did, at least the one who broke it this time around totally gave you some good self-worth due you.

But 9 years after, so far, so good. Ego intact, self-worth solid and marriage stronger. I am sure along the way, hurdles are to come, but i know many many years may pass, he'd still be that dashing lothario who i end up with, hand-in-hand, in that make-believe music video. Song title under debate, however.


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this is a badly written entry to say, i'm glad i decided to get hitched. for i, never intended to.

getting married was a perfect present for myself, because in reality, my husband is my strength when i'm a bit undecided, my voice of reason when i am incoherent, and the meaning to why i have to be awake on dull autumn rainy cold days. he is.

and i, (without an iota of a doubt), am to him.

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(post dedicated to those who are having their carrie bradshaw moment of "will i, or will i not?" )