what we need is LOVE

as cliche as it may sound, we all do need to feel we are loved.

eversince i've started specializing in mental health work, there are so many of the clients i work with whose illnesses and symptoms exacerbate when there was the threat of losing the love they have or lost their self-worth because of a trauma that they felt all love has abandoned them.

sad, but the reality is, when we feel our life experiences, (past or current) can jeopardize this protective emotion for ourselves, our mental health is affected.

one of the clients ive assessed, was a handsome man in his 40's who used to be a successful businessman. he had a big trauma of a road traffic accident, and ended in ICU for a few weeks wiht 50/50 chances of survival. but none of his family saw him nor visited him (they didnt know how to deal with it), his partner left him whilst he was in hospital, and his only brother texted him to tell him to not bother to call. ouch! he felt as if he had no one, no family, no girlfriend, no friends (he withdrew from them, as he was scared he would lose them too). he lost his confidence,and his self worth was rockbottom, and now he is depressed and has lost his business as he was unable to deal with the public. now,he is well physically, his stitches have healed, his spine fixed, but his heart and soul just shattered to pieces.

all he needed was a hug from his love ones. he had so much anger and pain, he wanted his world to end.

i just wanted to hug him, and tell him to wake up and smell the roses. but of course, he couldn't see that yet. or better, call his family and tell them to get their gear in act. but i am not allowed that either.

his friends should have come around, and visited him no matter the amount of refusal from him to not see them. (my friends in this country do that, i'm so blessed that i have friends who will break down the door if i start refusing relentlessly to not see them. unusual really for their culture. but it happened when i was so down when my father died, my friends arranged with adrian so i could go and see them. im blessed with a family too that never wavers. and of course, my friends back home in cebu, wouldnt wait for me to say NO to them, they would just come over and drag me by my hair if i even dare to think of not coming, so i could have fun,haha...counting my blessings today because of that).

his friends, should have made sure,he was ok. and made him feel even more loved. his family should have too, but for some reason,there are so much going on (emotionally) they werent able to.

i feel sorry for him, because he lost himself,when he thought he didnt get the love he wanted.

and my job is for him to be able to function to his best potential in society, and in his day-to-day activities as a person. yes,he will still be mentally ill, depressed and anxious, but then,he could start reintegrating to society and be able to perform his duties as a man/businessman/son/brother/friend.

there is hope.


and he is only one of the hundreds that we see in the centre who fell ill because of the loss of love.


***

you can imagine the rollercoaster journey of my days. one-to-one assessments with a person, can be tearful, uncomfortable, sad, and all emotional. but when it comes down to treatments, we do groupwork-type treatment ranging from creative activity (glass painting, collage making, etc, mostly craft-related), creative writing, relaxation treatments, or a coffee group which could mean many laughter-enducing activities and some real bonding moments. in a day, i could feel so sad (because of the stories i hear from a patient's life story) and in the next treatment, i could be happy as larry, enough to think that i could be the same as my bipolar clients,haha.

it is indeed hard if one has no rest nor focus. i could end up needing therapy myself. so i disciplined myself to get enough rest, and not to forego sleep (we always tell clients to get enough rest as it could be a trigger for a relapse of their mental health) but instead prioritise it.

(i have to remind myself to talk about my experience of facilitating an Anger Management group; how scary were the revelations there. it made me think, that there's anger, and then there's ANGER. it deserves a separate blog).

i promised myself to balance as much as i could, and put blogging as the bottom of my priority for the next few weeks, but i also promised myself, to make me a happy bunny, i need to blog at least once a week. since today i woke up late at 10:30am, i feel, i deserve a time to spend on my blog as of the moment without feeling guilty of lacking sleep.

time be damned. i could recoup sleep tomorrow night.



***

i have so many wonderful stories from where i am working. i am so blessed to be enriched by this experience, by their stories. im just a blabbermouth who wants to blog about it as writing them down makes a lasting lesson learned.


{photo:nottinghill area, corner portobello market}