Tuesday 4 May 2010

breakfast

it all starts with what i have for the morning.

or whether i have one at all.

99% of the time, i have cereal or oats (doctor's orders).

but when my sister was around, it was a happy disorder of cereals/oats in some days, toasted bread on some others, cheese and crackers/bread on some, and most often that not on weekends, its the comforting taste of home (tocino, meatloaf,cornedbeef or longganisa with garlicky fried rice). (wait! sometimes its a full english fry up)

i felt an overwhelming urge to bawl my eyes out this morning when i was eating my breakfast alone (adrian has left for work, and i was running late for university).

i had my first cereal bowl since my sister left and it tasted 'cardboardy' than ever.

you know when you just wanted to cry because all emotions you were trying to hold came flooding at once?

i gave in.

suddenly, my breakfast tasted salty. watery salty.

and perhaps it will be for some time.


***


sometimes, you need to mourn some things.

lost time.

lost chances.

and lost opportunities.

and definitely, breakfasts that never will be again.




i will miss my longganisa breakfasts with egg and mushrooms




i will miss sharing these with my sister...


**

i miss my sister..

and Adrian was sentimental when he read the letter she left us.

yesterday, Adrian went clothes shopping in bulk (for him). bless my husband, he is like that when he is stressing.

he also did that (bulk buying) the day mom/ana/and roi left us the first time to go back home.

retail therapy..who needs a shrink?

4 comments:

konsuy said...

murag magkasinabot si Adrian ug akong bana when it comes to therapy. =) and i thought it was so gay. shhh. so this is afterall a man thing.

chel, naa na si kharla diri. sweet gyud kaayo siya. we will be meeting karong friday, yipee. i can't wait. sige na ko gadamgo how we will meet. praning na ko.

Aileen said...

HUGS, Chel!
Mourn. Sometimes, you need to.
Missing loved ones is never easy.

Hope you feel better soon.

kookooforcocopuffs said...

murag magkasinabot si Adrian ug akong bana when it comes to therapy. =) and i thought it was so gay. shhh. so this is afterall a man thing.

chel, naa na si kharla diri. sweet gyud kaayo siya. we will be meeting karong friday, yipee. i can't wait. sige na ko gadamgo how we will meet. praning na ko.

***

they deal with stress and panic in a different way chi,haha..adrian panic buys, murag mahutdan,LOL..
im so envious of karla that she's meeting you there..i wish i was there too=)

kookooforcocopuffs said...

HUGS, Chel!
Mourn. Sometimes, you need to.
Missing loved ones is never easy.

Hope you feel better soon.

***

thanks ai=) i needed that hug..=)

i am feeling better na=) im getting used to this being left by people..but at the airport, and yesterday, it was awful..i thought my heart was breaking.