The Social Network Diet

Kings Lynn one sunny Sunday.

**


My family and friends have asked why I haven't been visible much on facebook and instagram.  I was surprised myself because it wasn't a planned one.

It all started when I was in Cambridge a few weeks ago to do some systems training (the workplace has changed our software interface and added new features, thus all members of staff had to be on the training on a staggered basis. I did mine on the third week of August).

Cambridge is a good hour (and about 10 minutes depending on traffic) to drive to. Add another 2 hours driving back (peak hour traffic). The whole day was sucked up by the training and travelling.

On the third day of training, we moved to a different hospital which was so remote, there was no internet access.

By the fourth day, it was so liberating that you do not need your cellphone to keep updating yourself of what everyone is doing. Seriously, it killed my "nosy" side.

At the end of each day, I was exhausted from training and driving, all I could muster was the tagged pop up info on my page, and private messages. If you are like me, who like to start things from the very beginning and not start in the middle of your newsfeed, i kept telling myself that i shall update myself form the start of where i left off. (well, never happened. )


A few days after the training, i was starting to find I had more time to chat to people on the phone, and join in on after-work activities. I was finding I was able to cook fancier meals than i normally would. It made me realise how much time i spend on my social networks. And i tend to kill an hour each day just going through my feed each day.

I was hoping that at the end of the second week I will be able to go back to the gym, but that didn't happen (haha!).

My family tend to tag me on their posts, so its easy to go to their posts. So during these past few weeks, I have been a neglectful social networker.

This eventually lead to what I call the Social Network Diet, because I totally am not able to detach myself from social networking when most of my family are abroad. Diet, because I am trying to recoup my time back from sitting on the couch and try limit sniffling my curious nose on everyone's business.

It is liberating to know I could actually live without a mobile phone/facebook/instagram for an entire 12-16 hours. ( Since I moved to working in the community, I have had the blessing of being able to use my phone at a whim except when faced-to-face with a patient) which really indulged this bad habit.

By the end of the first week of not being as active, I felt "bleacch" to update. I felt nothing was going on in my life that interesting to share. I also felt that my mother and siblings are updated about me, and my girlfriends and I were still sharing on Whatsapp during all this time (we were trying to help an emotional friend), thus nothing crucial to share. I also suddenly had a weird over-the-top self awareness episode when i started realising what was happening. I felt, "oh shit, what was I thinking sharing those things online?". "Eww, how immature of me to write that". "Did i really need to post that photo?".  Everytime i wanted to put a photo on instagram, i had these weird thoughts stopping me. Eveyrtime i had the urge to post a facebook status, i had these thoughts screaming inside me. Weird.

On our last skype session, mama said she is happy to see me online, eventhough what i post are irrelevant weird nonsense, she feels happy that she could see I am alright (or not alright, but still alive,lol), it made me think, i need to get back into the action.

Its amazing what we get to learn as habits. It is so easy to be addicted to be online, and interesting enough, it may not be as easy, but it is not that hard to get off the internet if we really want to, or like me, unconciously detached from the internet due to work.

When one does this diet, you suddenly realise who are those that you miss most. (Its harder not to check on them when you are offline-- your family, and some special ones who are in some ways have been really kind and wonderful to little poor you). Those people, dear self, you keep close.  They are your gold nuggets.

**

Side note: I started reading blogs again, and fell in love with my old favourite bloggers and discovered new ones.

I am gifting myself more time here in my personal space. It doesn't matter if I have only two other people reading this space. Thats two more than me, LOL.x

Mika

..our lovely Mika, Dom, or Dominique is turning 5 this year. 

this talkative niece of mine is a bright little girl and has a really kind generous heart. (whatever she has, she always shares it and gives it to anyone who aks for it).

i am so thankful to have spent time with her this year, and i just fell in love with her even more.

she can carry a tune,too. oh, my heart. she definitely captured it.

a photo of her doing her favourite activity: swimming! 

i miss her. i cant wait to spend time with her again.

the greatest misfortune

...is not having the hope.

the greatest fortune is finding you have someone who hopes the best for you, truly and honestly.


a good friend once advised me: "get rid of the suckers of your life. people who only are with you when they need your help, your advice, their audience."

better be alone than be in that company.

thus, i am thankful for those who are truly there when it really matters.

i am so thankful to three people in my life:

-Adrian

-Mama

-Kharla

these three have been my constant and are there even when they are suffering from their own little battles but are always willing and ready to give me back their time, their ears, their heart.

these three deserve the best in their life.

i pray for them constantly.


**

I thank the Lord for them.

and so it is christmas

..and it is very merry.

this christmas had so many flops and mishaps that enumerating them is now just defeating the purpose of this entry.

this christmas as i was working on the eve (trying to be good, so i am allowed a LOOONG leave next year..*please cross your fingers for me). (the only good thing was, work wasn't too hard on the eve. there were no emergency catastrophes, nor a mass stroke epidemic in the county, so we were allowed to leave an hour than normal home time, or they were. i guess, the more your responsibility is, the last you leave the ship, so i basically left just about quarter an hour than normal..LOL).

we had my stepson Mark with us for the christmas period and will be delivering him back to Essex on boxing day,where we are spending back London way where my brother-in-law's house is.

so on the 24th, Adrian picked me up from work, and we went home, had a drink in the pub. the boys stayed longer in the pub while i went home earlier than they did as i had to freshen up and cook some of the noche buena food.

we stayed up til 5 AM. watched DVDs and drank wine/choco drink and ate chcolates til we felt like bursting.

this christmas, i am thankful for so many things/events and people. (i will do a separate "thank you" post for the pressies that my lovely friends gave me because i cannot give it to them personally).

for now, some photos of the night we welcomed christmas..

noche buena for three. 

cheese platter, pigs in blanket, gammon, salad, crisps,

smoked salmon, twiglets, 

assortment party food: breaded prawns, prawn toast, dimsum, cold cuts, 

sausages and steamed prawns.

(and chocolates, and cakes)

christmas tree.

blessings and love to you all.. <3 nbsp="nbsp">

**

let me wish you beautful memories to build on for christmasses to come.

commitment

 

 "we accept the love we think we deserve "-- Stephen Chbosky/ The Perks of Being A Wallflower

love where you are at

i do. i do.

i know i've only been here a year exactly a  week ago, but deep down my heart, this place had me from the word 'go'.

you know, i always have been taught that where you live, and who you live with affect our capacity to gravitate towards good things. when you live around negativity, and bad atmosphere, it will not only bring your mental wellbeing down, but it will also kick away the good energy meant for you.

i always thought i had it good where i was before. i loved our house (i still do, i miss my kitchen truth be told :-0) but this entire historical county has grabbed my heart hook, line and sinker.

i know Adrian and i will not be here permanently (because we own a house on the London border), but we plan on staying until all my family have visited *knock on wood* (that is the plan), and of course, until i have finished my rotational assignment.

i also think that i have matured as a person, and with the maturity afforded me, with it came the openness to receive blessings (people,love, affection,relation--- non-monetary) that head my way. the place, with all its visual trimmings, the charm and the people that come with it, the experiences attached to it, it just gets better. 

i could not ask for more. 

(except better health for my love ones, i must add) 

**

how about you, where you are now, and can you say it has given you the "oomph" to accept life's offerings?

are you willing to (physically) move/ relocate to get a healthier and refreshed outlook about your life?

or do you actually believe that a place has anything to do with one's capacity to receive good energy?

thoughts?

graduated

i graduated today. well, the ceremony that is. i officially graduated last year, and started working as a qualified therapist, but since our university decided to push the graduation rites from October 2011 to July 2012 (due to moving campuses and departments merging into one big mega-department for Sciences) thus the delayed ceremony.

more pictures later on in the week (i know my family is waiting like crazy to see them) as i can only grab photos from friends' facebook accounts.



here are a few photos:

with my cohort/groupmates

*

with my two greatest friends in this world (not just in the UK), The Donns.

missing...

this...

and this

..

i'm happy to be going back for a visit this weekend.


looking forward to be in my old favourite nooks and crannies in my first (UK) city love.


PS. the Queen had a garden party at Sandringham today. hence the traffic,and the deluge of luxury 4x4s that passed the house. one day, i will get invited to that.. x (libre ang mangarap! teeheee!!! ).

the olde post office

some good news today! i woke up to find a letter thru the mailbox from the agent confirming myself and the mister as the successful bidders to the cottage.

so here as promised, are the pics of cottage.

**

the cottage was not ready when we viewed it. the backgarden was in chaos as the workers of the landlord chopped off the trees (Adrian and i wanted to stop them coz we would have loved the trees in the back),and was just about to landscape the backgarden.

Speaking of landlords, the owner/landlord is actually Lord Howard, a blue-blood said the agent, who owns half of Norfolk and has his estate rented to the public.

this cottage was the old post office, thats why the address will read The Olde Post Office, Castle Rising. cute, isnt it?

the upstairs was not ready, and the bedrooms had no carpet yet, and there were still missing windows, but you know,when you step into a property and you feel an instant 'home' feel to it? thats how it felt like.

the other house in the 'burbs which we liked too, was ready to move in, as soon as we wanted to, it had everything and four massive rooms. this cottage was not ready at all when we saw it, the carpets downstairs were shoddy, the upstairs were still exposed floorboards and garden a total mess, but Adrian and i fell in love with it. it is smaller in comparison to the house in the burbs (same rental price), this one has no cooker installed (which means Adrian and i have to buy a new one,too, which makes this move quite expensive more than it should) yet the feeling of making it a 'holiday' in norfolk than just a 'living-to-work' in norfolk as an idea is so much more inviting.


the kitchen in this cottage is tiny, yet i think, the real log-burning fireplaces, the reception room, the overall feel of the cottage won us over. (plus Adrian's dream of selling artisan organic breads by our doorstep while i'm at work is too tempting for him to quash,lol).

**

I suppose some things are just meant to be. I whispered prayers to God, who i asked guidance and answers for everyday. i know i have been very doubtful about this move (this new job in far far away Norfolk from my home), but whenever i feel down and skeptical on some things about this sudden life-change, something happens that really tells me, this is it.

so yeah, this is it.


**

photos of the Olde Post Office (photos taken by my canon g10. i wasnt able to bring my DSLR that day, as we were too busy walking in and out of houses,there were just no time to log about a heavy camera).

when we move in, more pics to come of the newly organized backgarden. (altho Adrian said, do not hold your breath about their 'promised landscape', their idea might just be evened-out grass..i thought, i do not care, i'm willing to live in its present condition now)

**

the small cottage...

those picket fences will be white in a month's time.

at the foot of our garden is the hill, where the castle is seen..'muni-muni',here i come

the bricks and stone is local to Norfolk, i forgot what they call that kind of sanding..

its a tiny cottage, but its bigger inside, 3 bedrooms upstairs, a dining area, a kitchen (small kitchen,though, something i have to get used to) and a big nice lounge (with log-burning fire)

a closer view to the back..i think it would be nice to share afternoon walks there, up the hill to the castle, and blurt 'he-loves-me-he-loves-me-not' litanies..

my sister Ana who will be visitng me next year with Mama said, her Jane Austen fantasies might come true in this place (im sure!) and my bestfriend Kharla who loves solitude and reflective silences would cherish to be in a place like this..even my hiking buddies would love this place..this village is a wonderful hike trail.

a cottage that hopefully would be home to me and adrian while i work.

a 10 minute car-drive to/from work.

the idea of being on-holiday-and-working at the same time makes this move a gentler move than the big blow it was supposed to feel. I am one for being rooted and finding home.. when it took me years to get adjusted to where i was, here again, was an opportunity to land my dream job, yet i had to move far away from my present home.

i think this cottage and the village will be kind to me..because this was an answered prayer.

i showed these photos to my family in FB the day we went there, and my brother said "nice sya, but murag dako dako gyud mo'g silhiganan," hahaha, commenting on the chaos from the garden.. the reason why we could only move on the 1st of october is because Lord Howard wanted to do work in the garden before we move in. [i would love to meet Lord Howard and get a portrait of him],lol.

**

thank you for being excited with me. you know who you are! ;-)

an aviso for an aviso is a must

{photo: lovely tabletop centrepiece decour, at the Laurent Perrier Champagne Tent,at last year's London Taste Festival}

The Human Resources department in the new workplace has definitely messed my schedules in the biggest way possible. And not in a good way.

On the day the job was offered to me,the OT department people asked for a date when i could start soonest. I calculated and estimated, and answered the 19th of September.

The HR department required some documents from me, so I went to see them a few weeks ago, at the same time looked at properties we could potentially rent for my 19th of September start.

But!... after talking to the HR lady officer,I was told that my starting date is NOT the 19th of September as they still need to process my criminal records check (CRB check, equivalent to an NBI background check), which could take at least 3-4 weeks.

I was astounded because it only means my start date will be pushed to the middle of October. So it meant, the properties that were for rent which we viewed that day and liked/loved,will not be available by the time we were ready to rent it. The HR lady said "its not clear what date you will start but it will be around that week of October, and you will be notified by us, when", in between sips of her tea (the cow!).

A little bit deflated that day, i went home but soon recovered because i thought i could use some chill-time and do odd jobs here and there and see girlfriends before i go move counties.We also calculated and rejigged our plan to look at properties again at the end of September, and move in the first week of October just in time for start of the work. (we thought!)

Yesterday, I received a phonecall when i was on the train, the OT department telling me they're looking forward to seeing me on Monday, the 19th. Gasp. *S%^*@£!!!*. I do not have a house yet, no furnishings, nothing. Thinking, it was too soon to rent a place when I am not working there yet. Wrong!

{Some questions looming from yesterday: why did the OT department not talk and communicate to the HR department? Did the HR people, in their lackadaisical attitude think they can do this to all wide-eyed-eager-newly-hired employees like moi? What to do!!}

My brain went on overdrive yesterday and my supposedly leisurely afternoon for myself, became a panic contact to all home agents in Norfolk to arrange house viewings as soon as possible in Pret-A-Manger cafe between furious bites into my chocolate croissant and truckers-sip of my cappucino. (Lady-like goes out of the window when stressed,me!)

I wanted to throw a tantrum and be angry but the thought of being angry makes me tired, so i decided to just mope about this for a few days and get over it.

So today, Adrian and i bought a furnitures for a whole living room and diner/kitchen for a house we have yet to see, and still have no clue whatsoever whether it would fit the sizes of these furnishings. Not the way i wanted to do it, but time is so precious and so little we had to resort to going the other way around.

Apparently, some situations call for you to go via the backdoor to get in.

But it doesn't make me a happy bunny. I am not good with dealing with other people's miscommunication to myself and I am suffering the consequences of other people's inaptitude for the job they are supposed to do.


But then again, i heard of serendipity. Some accidents may turn out great.

If it is, there'd bloody be a John Cusack look-a-like at the end of all these mishaps.


**


Anyways, enough of my old-woman whining.

here's hoping the winds are gentler down your parts.


have a serendipituous week, my lovely friends..



**

PS. I am loving the new look of my blog. I'm sure you do,too.

its done by the super talented Fancy Girl Designer, Patricia Alix-Villa. Awesome designer, mom and friend.

in absencia

so many things have happened between now and the last blogpost, you would not believe it.

i want to write them down, and organize my thoughts, but the mind is willing and the body is not. cliche yet so true. i have been working long hours with the present work to finish my hours, so i can start at the other place, and doing a hudred and 1 things at the same time,that im beat at the end of the day.

right now, im preparing for a birthday/goodbye party for tonight..my inlaws are coming tonight. next week my friends. we came home late last night from a full day of driving back and forth to norfolk looking at some properties we 'might' rent and went to drop my official documents at the hospital at the same time. the day before, i was working from 7AM til 5pm got home, cleared our loft and went grocery shopping and cooked a storm for two (am more hungry than ever).

i would be in joan river's 'worst stressed' list this year, i have a feeling.


**

PS.its September already? where did the days go?

relocating

i tiptoed around the subject. i mulled on the thought. i fannied and tossed and moped about the prospect.

the inevitable has come.

Adrian and I are relocating to a very picturesque county called Norfolk.

and i am really scared, excited, and happy and sad about the thought.

why the mixed emotions, you ask? anyone who has moved a gazillion times in their past life and just wants to be rooted to 'home' would understand the fear and sadness.

anyone who loves the prospect of a challenge and adventure feels the excitement in my shoes.


**

i dont know. i am a bag of nerves. but who am i to say NO to a fantastic job offer? (and a possibility of being in the countryside and fields, and starting afresh would not give this offer a chance?)

plus, beggars cannot be wussies.. the talks of second recession coming to europe (the world) and being someone who has a prediliction to overhoarding cosmetics,shoes and camera lenses + a bottomless gut for japanese sashimi has no right to say NO to job offers immediately right after getting my degree?

i am scared, but i think, i'm going for it anyway. you would be next to know what'll happen around the corner.

wish me luck.

not that u want to know. but just in case..

thank you , friends, for asking how Adrian is. he is better (judging from his appetite) and is back to his facetious self.

i somehow forget how sarky he could get until he is back to his usual self.

**


Me: *sigh*, friends, who cancel on the night because its raining..im getting annoyed.
Adrian: yes, i agree, who want's fair-weather friends?


**

(on a discussion about how sad that we don't have babies)

He said " its sad, because you would have made a great grandma".

My face: (What?!)

He continued: (laughing), You know, you are caring ,loving,thoughtful and very cuddly-huggy-kind-of-way.

(i was not pleased with that explanation).


**

Today, i arrive from work. I saw his forehead had a little gash. I asked what it was, he said he was fixing the stairs (which was getting rickety and weak everyday, and with our weight, it was not safe), he didnt notice there was a potruding nail where he hit his head..

Me: i cannot trust u being on ur own, i get a heart attack, u end up with so many cuts. look at u! is it painful?
Adrian: no its not, i quite like it, it looks like Harry potter's forehead insigna. u dont know, i might be the chosen one.


**

today:

Me: honey, there are only two of us here in this house, but why do i always go home to at least 6 sets of knives/forks/spoons, at least 6 glasses , tea cups and plates in the sink?
Adrian: What? Im not allowed to have a party just because you're not around? (teasing mode).
Me: seriously. its not funny. its so wasteful.
Adrian: : ok, ill stop doing it. ill cancel my lunch party tomorrow.

(this scares me, i wonder if he really has a party when i'm not around).


**

can u see why i am scared he wont be around? he is the bright light to my doomsday disposition most of the time.



**

(photos from a lunch date at carluccio's last month)


the view from our table...;-)

ocho

sweet

trying to be serious

ok, this is it!

bang! tua ra! ..serious is a foreign word.

***

8 years

(neither approves the other's driving, wife is annoyed of husband's forgetfulness, husband is annoyed of wife's 2 hours of prep before going out,and thats without make-up.., wife's annoyed at the husband's lacksadaisical relaxed attitude to life , husband is annoyed of wife's control-freakedness)..

8 years of annoying one another.

i hope 30 years more of annoyance,at least, please,God.

**

(photos: taken in a pub in Peak District in one of our hiking trips in 2009

LOL..trying to defend the dishevelled out-of-africa-look)

RIP Amy

yesterday, adrian and i passed by camden, or Winehouse country as i would love to call it. we passed by the tribute and memorial for Amy Winehouse. there were hoardes of fans and journalists from around the world. her house was just across the camden square which we passed by, and when we saw the people, we knew it was Amy Winehouse's memorial. we stopped for a bit and took some pics. it was so sad.

there were fans dancing and celebrating her life by bringing drinks and put their stereo's volume high up and played all of Amy's songs while they had a dance (albeit drunkenly).

i felt sad when i heard she died. apart from her songs are amazing, its not right when someone so young die because of substance abuse. she needed help. but it was a kind of help only she could have done for herself.

**

the famous Camden locks

its now a thriving waterside complex of resto-bars..

*

oh, but before that, we popped by here.

the Adoration chapel of the Westminster Cathedral so beautiful..;-)

**

after that, Adrian and i had our fill of chinese buffet. i was craving for some really insanely unhealthy chinese chicken wings and noodles, we just had to go to our favourite chinese buffet down shaftesbury avenue.

ades + rage

wouldn't you agree?

baby you and me,got a groovy kind of love...

**

we dont know where we are heading in this life..

it doesn't matter, i got him.

**

{silly moments with adrian}

today

today was a mishmash of beautiful little moments.

i came home from work and saw that the washing i did from the night before were hanging by the washing line and obviously dried from the sun. that might be nothing to you, but for people like me who work and have no time to put in the washing line (and not sure of what weather it is today) tend to just dry my washing in the dryer. it was lovely, because nothing beats having clothes (most of the wash were towels and rugs) that smelt of sun and wind. i don't know,it just smells different. sun+wind+fabric conditioner vs dryer+ fabric conditioner is not a match. and most of all, it was Adrian who hung them on the line. ohh, i love me a house husband.


we had a nice chat and a snack of chocolate crosissant and coffee and decided to have a fish dinner. i was craving for some good old 'piniritong isda' and 'sinangag na kanin'. i live for my cravings. thats how i roll, day to day. its no wonder i am this size,but who cares right? (my diabetic doctor does,actually,haha).


after filling up with dinner, i checked my mobile and saw that i got a text from my classmate telling me that our final results are out in our university email. i hurriedly opened my mail and saw that indeed i got honours, but more than what i expected. i got an upper second class honours. Adrian was so proud of me and jokingly said, that 'not bad for a last minute student', referring to my attitude to studying which he wasnt too keen on. but at the end of the day,it really doesn't matter what i got, what matters is the love i have for the profession and to the clients i work for.

some wonderful snippets of my day, i hope you have many more in yours too;-)

my life on a plate

if my life were a dish it would be the 'escabeche'.

somewhat sweet and sour,and a mishmash of colour and taste, exciting and not dull.

the fish meat, just the right texture to savour the explosion of sweet and sourness and there's a mixture of tang and salt in the sauce.

shocks,this post makes me hungry.

**

im so thankful that my mom 'forced' me to learn how to cook when i was in grade school.

these skills i never knew would save the quality of my life when i moved to England.

i get excited everytime i open the fridge and think of what to cook for dinner,every single day.

**

photo and escabeche, by yours truly

this has to be said

for a long time this has been playing on my mind. not only because some people also went through it but through my own experiences as well.

the superficial things people say against us, our weight,height,skin colour and our 'look', may be an issue to people who do not know us, but people who do, they see beyond it, and look past it. its not an issue to them. if they do comment about it, its more about their concern about our health, nothing catty, not at all.

when people make fun of us to our knowledge, to make us joke-worthy because they think being 'fat' is a joke for their consumption, they are in their minds, actually making sense why someone would still be 'fat' when its not the 'norm' in philippine culture. they think by saying it out loud and vocalizng it think its actually funny. it may be..to those who are ill-mannered and ill-educated.

newsflash: we don't set out to be this weight. we don't want to be this weight, but there is obviously an underlying need to stuff ourselves with food. that is THE problem.the emotional eating is the culprit and the symptom (sign) is the weight. some people have overcome this need, this emotional eating (a great feat!), but some are still struggling with it, its a hard battle. anyone who has been on a diet and an exercise plan would agree with me when i say, its not an easy job and not everyone succeeds.

let me quote the beautiful actress, Mila Kunis (Live Magazine,May 15 issue) when she said "it took 5 months to lose 20 lbs for Black Swan, but 5 days to put it all back on" for her role in the said movie.

Ms. Kunis in her hollywood stature of physical trainers, gruelling regime of exercise and macrobiotic-thousand-dollar-per-meal chefs and staff, took such effort to lose the pounds and realized that it only takes a fry-up bacon and milkshake to put back all the hardwork to zero. what hope does that leave us mere mortals, whose schedules are impossible to attain a 5 hour day exercise training plan and cannot shell out hundreds of monies for kitchen staff that can whip up at our demand, a low-calorie-nutrionally-balanced meal?

by no means im saying to be healthy slim is impossible, because it is. but i am first to admit it is hard. a struggle for those who are battling an emotional attachment to food. it is an addiction, a sickness that needs addressing and ALOT of help and support from everyone around us (people we live with, people we socialize with).

my friend, P, who is recovering alcoholic said to me in a very empathetic tone that he knows what a struggle it could be. in his struggle for his addiction, he threw all the liquor in his cupboard, the shopping has to be done by his girlfriend (so he could not be tempted to buy booze), stopped watching tv (for fear of adverts of alcoholic drinks),and he used to say NO to any gatherings that involve meeting in places where he could order a drink, like in a pub or bar,for 6 months. Only it was recently that he slowly re-introduced himself to the world, going to the shops with his girlfriend,and enjoying a nice meal. His girlfriend (my long suffering friend,M had to stop enjoying a glass of wine in front of him too). Both their families do not invite them over for drinks, and their friends know that they're not being unsociable for the meantime, so they understand when they have said NO the past months for barbeque and dinner invites.

P said, it would be harder for people who are battling weight problems to go through weight management because you cannot totally eliminate FOOD in our lives. if he was able to throw the booze out of his cupboard and not see a bottle of alcohol for 6 months of detox, how can people go through the normal rehab procedure of eliminating food totally? people HAVE to eat. one cannot totally eliminate food from one's house/life completely.

thus, food addiction is a different devil entirely from all other addictions.

its a hard struggle and people can go through life not succeeding in this battle.

i know i have not yet. my relationship with food is that of attachment and mutual love. i live for food, and i get such a thrill from it. and to me, food should always be appreciated in its best state.

food means so much in the equation of things. in a party, the food has to be right and great for me to say i enjoyed a party.

the daily battle to win over the need to overeat is a constant daily slug. sometimes i win, most oftentimes, it wins me over. (although for the moment, i am not battling it, i am letting go for the meantime as i'm also busy with my thesis, and food has been my constant friend all throughout---my clutch,more like it).

so when i hear people making fun of other people's weight infront of the person,to make them feel embarassed about it, it angers and frustrates me. what for? why make fun of them and embarrass them?

it all boils down to education and knowledge.

look at these people who do that (comments about people's weight or appearance). normally, these people have not seen a back of a book, nor have they travelled to different parts of the world and has seen that there are 'other' norms out there. people do not fit in boxes, and people actually do come out of different colour, height and weight. and if they look/sound different, there are reasons for it.

most importantly, these are people who do not know us, our character and our skills and abilities.people who do, they actually forget about our weight on a day-to-day basis,but would tell us wholeheartedly when they feel it impinges on our ability to lead a good healthy life.

people who do know us, forget the shape of our silhouette and are attracted to the finer details of our person, our features,our personalities,our capabilities and our demeanor--what we can bring to the table, our relationship with them. our weight is just a number and has no measure to the 'fun' we bring to the equation.

so next time, you hear someone make a joke about someone else's weight and his/her friends laugh about it? please do me a favour. tell them to think of a better punchline.

(or maybe, punch the lines out of their giggles,lol)

**

(note: by no means am i an advocate of being overweight, not at all. i would love to be a healthy, average, size. i just hate bullying and prejudice in all forms.)

fish and chips sunday

sunday.

we went to my classmate's house to return a book i borrowed.

since her house was near the seaside,

adrian and i thought of passing by

and walking along the baywalk

and enjoy the sun and seabreeze.

we also had fish and chips for supper.

as of the moment, it doesn't get dark until 7:30 or 8pm in the UK.

we have been getting longer days.

how fantastic is that.

fantastic.

there,i said it twice.