cheated by summer

If you have been watching BBC news, you would know that the UK is in its wettest summer in history. In Wales alone in the month of June, it rained 24 days out of 30.

Norfolk has been spared of flooding (so far!), but some parts of England arent so lucky. One summer camp site in Wales had to have 150 people rescued from a flash flood, homes damaged and properties irrevocably lost. Same in the northern part of England. Flooding and even the worst kind of lightning has in fact resulted in a fire emergency.

Last year,when we moved to Norfolk in the late summer-start of autumn, it was boiling hot at that time and that we thought why summer spread out til mid October. December last year was mild,too.

Although Norfolk has been raining the past few weeks, i thank the heavens that we do not get to catastrophic levels (simbako!) and really after a heavy downpour,it manages to bring a few hours of bright sun until late evening. It's a heavy downpour for the entire day then after work time, i come out of the hospital with heavy anorak and jackets from the morning's downpour, i wait for my ride feeling stupid wearing rain clothing in the evening sun.

Overall, the summer that was to be (in my mind's eye) and to discover Norfolk for its possibilities have not materialised yet. But, I am grateful however that we are safe, alive and out of harm's way. With all the blessings that God has poured on us recently, a little storm can not dampen my spirits. Besides, im sure,sooner or later, this rainy malarchy will soon ride over then suddenly we get a full spate of the sun. Who knows. Not even the weatherman knows.


**

Some photos of Brancaster, Norfolk last November 2011.

and of course, a photo of my sunshine, whatever the weather :-p

**

How is the weather your end,folks?

an aviso for an aviso is a must

{photo: lovely tabletop centrepiece decour, at the Laurent Perrier Champagne Tent,at last year's London Taste Festival}

The Human Resources department in the new workplace has definitely messed my schedules in the biggest way possible. And not in a good way.

On the day the job was offered to me,the OT department people asked for a date when i could start soonest. I calculated and estimated, and answered the 19th of September.

The HR department required some documents from me, so I went to see them a few weeks ago, at the same time looked at properties we could potentially rent for my 19th of September start.

But!... after talking to the HR lady officer,I was told that my starting date is NOT the 19th of September as they still need to process my criminal records check (CRB check, equivalent to an NBI background check), which could take at least 3-4 weeks.

I was astounded because it only means my start date will be pushed to the middle of October. So it meant, the properties that were for rent which we viewed that day and liked/loved,will not be available by the time we were ready to rent it. The HR lady said "its not clear what date you will start but it will be around that week of October, and you will be notified by us, when", in between sips of her tea (the cow!).

A little bit deflated that day, i went home but soon recovered because i thought i could use some chill-time and do odd jobs here and there and see girlfriends before i go move counties.We also calculated and rejigged our plan to look at properties again at the end of September, and move in the first week of October just in time for start of the work. (we thought!)

Yesterday, I received a phonecall when i was on the train, the OT department telling me they're looking forward to seeing me on Monday, the 19th. Gasp. *S%^*@£!!!*. I do not have a house yet, no furnishings, nothing. Thinking, it was too soon to rent a place when I am not working there yet. Wrong!

{Some questions looming from yesterday: why did the OT department not talk and communicate to the HR department? Did the HR people, in their lackadaisical attitude think they can do this to all wide-eyed-eager-newly-hired employees like moi? What to do!!}

My brain went on overdrive yesterday and my supposedly leisurely afternoon for myself, became a panic contact to all home agents in Norfolk to arrange house viewings as soon as possible in Pret-A-Manger cafe between furious bites into my chocolate croissant and truckers-sip of my cappucino. (Lady-like goes out of the window when stressed,me!)

I wanted to throw a tantrum and be angry but the thought of being angry makes me tired, so i decided to just mope about this for a few days and get over it.

So today, Adrian and i bought a furnitures for a whole living room and diner/kitchen for a house we have yet to see, and still have no clue whatsoever whether it would fit the sizes of these furnishings. Not the way i wanted to do it, but time is so precious and so little we had to resort to going the other way around.

Apparently, some situations call for you to go via the backdoor to get in.

But it doesn't make me a happy bunny. I am not good with dealing with other people's miscommunication to myself and I am suffering the consequences of other people's inaptitude for the job they are supposed to do.


But then again, i heard of serendipity. Some accidents may turn out great.

If it is, there'd bloody be a John Cusack look-a-like at the end of all these mishaps.


**


Anyways, enough of my old-woman whining.

here's hoping the winds are gentler down your parts.


have a serendipituous week, my lovely friends..



**

PS. I am loving the new look of my blog. I'm sure you do,too.

its done by the super talented Fancy Girl Designer, Patricia Alix-Villa. Awesome designer, mom and friend.

a monologue of dichotomy

"happy sad, are you feeling good or feeling bad?" the song goes from Pizzicato 5.


i am feeling good. getting maximum scores and wonderful comments for my clinical presentation from university today. but thats the icing on the cake. the real cake was getting it from authors of books and journals i read for my research.(i didnt know miss.d is still a young fellow of research,haha, im reading her work and i imagine a gray-haired woman ). i heard a hint to apply for a summer research placement. i would love to, but i love patient care more than research. maybe in two years time,who knows.

sad. the news. the news. the news.


**

i came home feeling unwell. jolting pain on my right side. i came home, stayed online(hello FB) for a few minutes, then slept on the couch for almost an hour, and here i am blogging just before i have my dinner. how routinary life could get. i thank these routines, they feel like little pockets of security for me when i feel too tired from my day coupled with feeling unwell.

i woke up feeling refreshed and much better. sniffy, but better.

adrian placed some warm water bottle on my side to make me feel comfy. but nothing beats having a warm weight of a human being breathing beside you, stroking your hair while you fall in and out of nap, while he watches the news.

lifelines, we all need them, don't we? thank God for Adrian, my bestfriend K, and my wonderful girlfriends and my family.


wonderful monday night, i promise you, pain on my right side, aside.

i looked into the eyes of my future tonight

it's just past midnight. i'm hungry, tired, emotional and sad. i haven't had dinner yet,and i just got back from the hospital to rush in a friend who is ill.

she rang me in distress,in the middle of me cooking my beef steak (visayan style) and jacket potatoes for adrian around 7:30. tearful and horribly sounding on the phone, saying she is so unwell and has been vomitting non stop. Adrian told me he is quite happy to make a sandwhich and just have that for tonight, while i turn off the heat from the cooking steaks. he knows my friend needed me.

and he also added for me to bring a crisp just in case i get hungry. he knows i might take longer to come back.

i drove (as fast as i could in snow) to my friend's house. she was ill indeed. she looked tired, worn and very tearful. she lives on her own. her children are far from her, and even if they are close, she cant call them quickly in emergencies like these.

i massaged her back, while she was vomitting in the toilet, i changed the water in her hot water bottle, and packed her overnight bag for the hospital (yes, there is no boundaries anymore when one is ill, but thats what friends are for). i kept making sure she was warm enough and kept massaging her back due to the horrible pains she was experiencing.

when the ambulance people came at 9:40pm, they immediately took her to the hospital. i drove behind them.

i phoned her elderly parents and assured them she's going to be fine. i rang her daughter in london and assured her that her mum is stable, and rang people from her work who needed to know where she is.

*

i was waiting in the A&E together with so many people (there were so many casualties of the snow there tonight), while she was being put into the system data.

i was called in to sit with her in her assessment bedroom.

we chatted, we laughed, i assured her that she's going to be ok once the doctor gives her some medication.

tonight was such a moment of panic, madness and adrenaline that drove me there. coming home in the car, i cried because i feel for her, and i feel for the future me.

God forbid, something happens to my beloved, who do i ring when i'm sick to pick me up? who will massage my back when i'm in pain? who holds my hand when i feel scared?

like my friend, she appreciated me being there for her, and was grateful to the point of tears with our friendship, but im sure, she would rather have her partner or her children there. i could tell from her eyes.

i think i have just seen my future. and right now, it looks bleak.

***

I thank the heavens for blessing me with a lovely close-knit family;

i thank the heavens for blessing me with amazing friends;

a loving and supportive husband

may that continue forever.

in a pickle

i got rushed to the A&E (that's ER for you) last night because i was bleeding from my nose heavily. gross.

i was driving home,from work and i could feel a cold trickle on my chin. because it was dark i couldn't see it. the cold trickle made my chin itch, then when i touched my chin, i could feel a wet patch, and on my lips too. I stopped for a few minutes in a dark wooden part of the country lane.

i checked my shirt and my face, and you would think i was punched or i had a face crash, then i realised the bleeding wouldn't stop. it was slowly trickling. i know there wasn't a scratch or a cut on my nose, so i was getting panicked.

i said, i might just as well go home as quickly as i should and then get help.

when i started the car , the battery (which we were having fixed this weekend) obviously died and wouldn't start.

the next best thing was to phone Adrian but he wasn't in the house as he was in the gym (i knew because i rang him at home just before i left for home, and he said he was on his way to the gym).

so i had to wait in the cold, dark dingy area in the middle of the country lane, bleeding, and (sobbing because of the cold,i might add), for m husband to pick me up and jumpstart my car.


**

after 30 minutes of shivering and cold fear, that i might die and not anyone knowing about it, i rang my work,and asked for help.

thank goodness for a kind colleague who brought a battery jumper and rescued me.

and when he saw me, he thought i was in an accident and because i was still bleeding, he had to bring me to the hospital,where i met Adrian fresh from the gym looking worried and harrassed (wild hair, not ponytailed after his shower,haha).

we were a scene out of comedy sketch at the doctors clinic. because of my medical history, i was asked to stay overnight in the hospital but i refused because the bleeding stopped at around 10PM. i was tired, and probably anaemic by then, but knew a goodnight's sleep and nourishment (and my warm home) wold be ok for me. plus, i cant miss today's work. i cant afford to be ill.

when i knew i had to go back tonight for some tests, i was alright, and given some drugs (some mild coagulating drugs). the doctor tried to scared me off with his prediction what i might be diagnosed with, but i'm not gonna worry about that. If i'm dying, i will die, i'm not scared to be honest.


today, i'm tired, over tired in fact, but i know whatever the outcomes are, i will still smile. for the meantime, id live life for me.


**

so if you think your life is shit, just think about other people who had to wait for life-threatening diagnoses. (catastrophising,haha).

and if you have a blessed life, be thankful, as you should be.

for the meantime, lets enjoy life's biggest party.


***


PS: im not dramatising. i just had a kidney scare a few weeks ago. problematic mandibular joint, arthritic joints,diabetes and now this. what's next i wonder?

i sure live a thrilling life. i live day-to-day for the last few months,haha. dont feel sorry for me as i am not sorry for myself. i think i have accepted the facts of my life.

but then again,if i go tomorrow, id feel bad because i didn't leave an explanation what happened between here and there.

the material and superficial things in life doesn't matter anymore. family, friends and love ones are top value for me. count yourself lucky if you have people who care for you.

i sure count myself lucky.


**

i was supposed to sleep early tonight, but i had to prepare for my groups tomorrow. best way to live life is occupy each moment with meaningful and soul-satisfying activities , and golly, i thank God for work,and my friends, most especially for my husband, who i know, is still kicking himself for going to gym last night. i know he wants me not to work, but i cant vegetate and wait for blood test results and scans. its the most awful thing in the world. i bet you, it will still come up with something negative, or maybe just an infection.

i dont want to have wasted time over a infection. and even if it means something grave, at least, i made each minute count.


**

my psychologist friend said: "some people who had to deal with alot in their early life tend to overwork and overdo things when they're in a crisis." hmmnnn..

and you must know, she's a published author of psychochogy books. she must be good.



me..pre-bloody times, hehe :-)