Monday, 17 February 2014

hello, stranger.


lately, i have been drawing inspiration from others. from the most profilic of bloggers amongst my friends and some popular ones who do not know me from adam.

but nothing has kicked me to get off my bottom to write and update this neglected space. because everytime i draw inspiration, i erase back what i have written because it did not feel right. 

i read my blog, and heard myself again. somehow, i was inspired to write again. (albeit a short one like this)

maybe, i have not listened to my own thoughts for so long that i have forgotten how i sound like anymore. and when i recognized myself from my blogs, and laughed at my own mistakes, and my unperfect grammar, and chaotic writing, i relished the person that i recognised. i actually miss her.

im glad to be able to inspire me this time.


here's to trying to live in here again.






Wednesday, 4 September 2013

i ate a lot of humble pie...and got sick

i ate a lot of humble pie the last few days for a booboo that i did (work related).

sometimes, my brand of stupidity amazes me. i cannot believe that i can be known as this organized and be anal in one extreme, and be such a klutz at a totally important thing. (nope, not patient related, thank goodness, just some paperwork i have not ticked off the to-do list-- but quite an important one).

lesson learned. never rely important matters to people especially reminders. at the end of the day, they wash their hands of their responsibility while, i, mrs. honest-at-everything-im-so-square, ends up the poster girl for being the lesson to learn from.



**

i have been really hard on myself.  a lot of people have told me that i whip myself endless for something really trivial and could happen to anyone and has happened before numerous times, and may happen again to other people.

i tell them, yes, but its them. not me. 'work' is something i take pride in, and i take great amounts of concentration and passion on. having to learn that i, too,  could do something annoying like this, disappoints me no end.

i have yet to 'talk' and befriend myself once again.



**

also, i reflect on my errors. unlike maybe some other people, who do not reflect as much, may end up doing it again. i, for a fact, tend to learn quite hard. even to the detriment of myself.


**

therefore, i am human, after all. no matter the accolade, the compliments, the plaudits i accomplish at work, i still get "earth-to-chelo" moments like this.

but i hope this will be the last.


**

the good news is: i still have a job, and bosses and colleagues who now joke endless about me being as dysfunctional as they are, and that they are welcoming me open arms.

there is a positive to this, after all.


**

bring on, next month, please!


NOTE: and because i was so distracted on this annoyance.. i was chopping carrots furiously the other night, i almost included my finger in the curry. i sliced a top off my left index finger. i tell you, this little bugger of a wound is nothing but a mere millimetre or so, but it hurts like a freck. The nail is sliced on the middle (that cheap knife was amazing! its so sharp!) and today, when i accidentally hit the finger on the dashboard (as you do, forgetting that you have a sore finger), it clicked the nail and dug into the wound and i cant unclick the nail back (i have short nails), so basically, it's dug and lodged itself into the already sore wound. i tell you, when it rains where i am, it doesnt only flood, it gets me effin tsunami. 

well, i hope whoever you are, friend or family or curious bypasser reading this, keep the smile, because you dont have my troubles.. and yes, i am smiling too, despite. because i have a family that loves me (booboos and all), and a whole bunch of friends who genuinely care.



Sunday, 25 August 2013

the greatest misfortune

...is not having the hope.

the greatest fortune is finding you have someone who hopes the best for you, truly and honestly.


a good friend once advised me: "get rid of the suckers of your life. people who only are with you when they need your help, your advice, their audience."

better be alone than be in that company.

thus, i am thankful for those who are truly there when it really matters.

i am so thankful to three people in my life:

-Adrian

-Mama

-Kharla

these three have been my constant and are there even when they are suffering from their own little battles but are always willing and ready to give me back their time, their ears, their heart.

these three deserve the best in their life.

i pray for them constantly.


**

I thank the Lord for them.

Thursday, 23 May 2013

happy birthday baby sister

"you will always be my baby..."

*inside joke between Ana, mama and i.* When she (ana) was young, i always was her baby sitter, and PTA attender. by the time i started working, i used to take her everywhere i go, whether i was shopping, in the spa, in the gym and even on my dates (to my then boyfriend's amusement).
she was my pretend baby/child. i took her to see her first cinema (Lion King), her first disco, her first drinking spree and cigarette puff (i was a cool "ate",lol).
so when she was about 11 or 12 years old, my mom and i played a prank on her. we sat her down for a serious talk and told her in my dramatic voice that in reality,she was my daughter and had my mom pretend she was hers because i was too young for a scandal. Ana didnt know how to react whether she wanted to be happy or to be sad, she looked at my mom for comfort but my mom nodded in agreement to my faux revelation..but then we couldn't stop laughing, and i'm sure Ana heaved a sigh of relief when she realized it was one (ugly) prank we gave her.


on mother's day this year, she sent me a message online to say " happy mothers' day Ate..love, your pretend daughter".. this made me laugh out loud.

This entry is to say how much she is treasured and adored by everyone in our family.

More than anything, she is a gift to my life...in fact, to my entire family's life. Needless to say, Ana, Angkai, Tita Nana, -- is loved by her ate's, kuya's , cousins , mama and im sure, papa in heaven is missing her too.

***




***

I was so happy that we had the opportunity to skype tonight (which is her birthday already as its already the 24th in cebu). Adrian and i sang "happy birthday" to her while she was at work.

Grateful for technology-- which makes distance seem a lot bearable.


and grateful for this space where my heart can load off some of the giddiness it could not handle.

have an awesome day, loves. 


Wednesday, 22 May 2013

blessings

i started to open this blog, a minute just before i was heading for bed.

the angel took the words out of me, and i am left with nothing to say.

so let me greet you with these flowers instead.





i hope your coming days/weeks are as exciting, if not, much more wonderful and exhilirating than mine.


***

on Friday, the 24th, is my sister Ana's birthday. i miss celebrating her birthday with her. one day, someday.

on Saturday, i am photographing a wedding for a couple who decided to tie the knot after x number of years of being together and having had children together.

on Sunday, I am meeting my mama at the airport...and the rest of the weeks/months will just be catching up with her and hopefully be able to pamper her more.

***

have a lovely night/morning/day to you. 

xxx