celebrating thursday evenings

...because i get reprieve from waking up at 5:45 am tomorrow (friday).

of relevance, questions and height

{photo: British Gymnast/Olympian Elaine W..one of our mountain buddies}

irrelevant.
all seems to be irrelevant.
i am at the phase of my life where things are beginning to come with an attached sentimentality and value, its relative congruence equates to how i look at things.


***


just woken up by the sound of the vibrating phone, only to find a FB message asking my opinion whether buying a NikonD5000 at $450 dollars (with standard lens) was cheap.
(errr, i cannot possibly know and memorize price ranges for all of Nikon's camera range)
maybe, try Google? i wanted to say, but i didnt. im trying to wake up and get in a better mood.


maybe a hot chocolate drink will put me in a better state of mind.

{ps. i normally dont mind being asked about cameras, but i find, i have been Nikon's spokesperson of late..and i think, some questions are too self-explanatory to be asked (like questions above)..and not as a greeting from my slumber,hahaha}


**

in another thought: planning a new adventure..

oh i do miss hiking up the mountains.
nothing beats the view from up there.

i got a pocketful a pocketful of sunshine

..thank you amoxillin 500.

my smile is back again;-)



**

the very reason why you should, in your damnest best to avoid being diabetic..

for a stringent flosser/religious interdental brusher/regular dentist-goer like yours truly (and if i remember correctly, always have been called "best smile" in all my kinder years), i have to suffer gum problems. one of the many complications of diabetes..

but i'm not complaining. rather that, than other organs in my body..(not yet,anyways).

apparently,because we are Southeast Asians (and also the Afro-Caribbeans), we are 10x more likely to be diabetic in the middle of our lives than our European counterparts (i read that in a hospital pamphlet). our diet is the main cause.

and if you have family history of the disease, you are double more likely to get the disease too. why I am.

most Filipinos think that Diabetes is a normal occurence, but really once you are diagnosed as such, its a death sentence. you are not going to die from the disease itself, but from its complications. more like AIDs (but in a different scale).

most of my family has it, and its sad. but im grateful, that with modern medicine the complications are kept minimum and at bay coupled with a strict GI (glucose index) diet.

so, if you are borderline diabetic. please watch out. if you could save yourself the trouble, run away from the donuts as much as you can.

and keep your glucose count stable and non-fluctuating.

(a long history of yo-yo dieting didnt help with me,either). im sure my sugar count would plummet and skydive number of times in a day in those years.

now, i could say, i am better at keeping my glucose level closely monitored. i also do not wait for my body to tell me, i need sugar. and i also am better at sticking to a bar of chocolate than an entire box (*hide). i time my food intake, and making sure i keep the levels in a steady flow.

i wish i knew about diabetes then, the way i do now. i could have avoided being one.

**

pocketful of doom, not sunshine,more like it ;-)

but, just sharing some bits of information about this condition. who knows, i could save one of you the pain.

child's play

what not to do with photoshop.


or maybe do.


addicting.

*

self portrait

my subconscious thinks i am skinny (with octopus limbs..and amputated)

my childlike poster interpretation of the movie "jaws" (hehehe)

*

break from thesis (for a few breaths..and laughs).

current obsession

ryvita + smoked salmon.

ryvita is a healthy cracker..but thats not why i love it. its really tasty;-) the healthy part is a bonus.

crispy yummy goodness

smoked salmon..a perfect partner.

**

snack food for the soul.

underneath

fat,thin,overdone,nude,brown,white, accessorised or au naturelle,

underneath it all

we are the same..

well, give and take some broken or missing cartilages here and there.

{photo: skull of prehistoric primates, Natural History Museum}

a sickness

i have a condition. its called "fatorexia" (not a real scientific name of an illness).

you, see, i do know im overweight. i do! but for some weird reason, i do not see it, the way other people probably see me.

i look in the mirror, and i see a 'slightly' overweight person that needs slimming down. but i don't realise the extent of it until i see photos of myself beside my 'lovely' husband.

today, i was browsing through pics from india. and wow! it reminded me again, of how big i was/still am. and not only 'big, big" but the same size 'big' as my caucasian ex-rugby player of a husband.


**

my "magpaka totoo ka, sister" moments are in these candid photos.

look at my calves, and his calves...faets! parehas na! in fact, mines bigger! (this was taken in one of our temple visits)

my back vs. his back...love all. patas ra! (equal measures!)..(in a rooftop resto overlooking the keralan river)

my thickness and his thickness...we're there!

on top of the statue in Tamil Nadu..(the cankles, the cankles,the cankles)..

***

they said, when you marry someone, you will end up looking similar to them..

but they didnt say, you'd end up being their size..

so single ladies, marry someone, gwapo (check), and marry someone lean (needs work on this one) :-)

***

but regardless, marry someone you love with all your might..someone who you would end up being giddy about, and be happy being with, pot belly, cankles and all.

Advance Happy Valentines, my love ones.

the snow, the shops, the burning toes.

Adrian and i braved the cold today,and went to the stores. we had to. we didn't have supplies, and we wanted to make use of time before the weekend start and we'd be mad dashing to do some shopping again.


we bought some supplies for the house today, and some medicine for me. and just by walking from the car to the shops,it felt like all my toes were burning. we hastily went in the store, took off my boots and socks. my circulation has cut off due to the cold. its such a nasty feeling. it was painful to say the least. (i was in agony the whole time).

**


im finally almost done with christmas present-buying. i just need something for my one stepson and Adrian. (i always think, that men are harder to buy for, or more expensive to buy for). so i'm still thinking about it.


so today, we felt accomplished and productive, instead of just sitting indoors waiting for snow to pile up again.


**


i am putting up my christmas tree tomorrow.


**


i got my research results, and all i could say now is: I will enjoy my christmas,yooho!!!;-)



**





{photo: my favourite christmas candle holder. mr.and mrs. santa k-i-s-s-i-n-g}

it's a weighty issue

i must admit, i am at the stage where i don't care about my weight anymore. i am feeling happy and contented with being this weight and being this size. (please don't judge,haha).

i have not been to the shops if i could help it, because i know, id be feeling inadequate again looking at clothes that wouldnt even fit one of my thighs, much more my waistline.

alot of my friends (here) are on a constant diet. when were out, i look at their size 8 frame jealously, and they look at my plate enviously. it takes sacrifice for them to be there, and it takes sheer laziness and unmotivation to be my size.

but in the middle of waiting for my blood results, i was wondering, what if, id die this weight? and my husband has to order an XL coffin? (morbid, but its extremely funny and true).


i would be lying to say, i dont want to be a few sizes smaller (not a size 8 , *cough cough* thats very unrealistic). maybe a size 14UK. but, the truth of the matter is: when youre working 9-5, and weekends are spent for doing chores and catch up, your free time is rather beautifully spent munching on brownies infront of the tv than eating salads and sweating on the stairmaster.


my friend N urged me to go dancing with her again. my friend C wanted me to join her gym which has alot of classes for working people (meaning night aerobics) (my gym has the best classes at the time when im at work).

now if only, i can buy motivation from the nearest store, id buy them by the dozen.


**

Therese H. always comes to mind whenever i want to lose weight: think babies, as motivation.

my best mate Kharla says: think of your fashion indulgence.

my sister Ana would always say: think of the food you can allow yourself to indulge in after losing the weight,hehe. (i know,she celebrates with food, like me)

my friends here would urge me: think of the activities you can do with us (not because im too obese, that i dont do it with them, im just extra careful not to go skydiving and surfing,lest id have a hypo attack,haha).

what is the point of this blogpost really? to explore what other motivation i can kick myself with.


and with that, i have to excuse my wobbly derrier for another slice of home-baked bread and salmon.

**

you know a hopeless case, if you see one.



{photo: if i could run myself, i could run London.photo taken by my cousin K, pre adjusted by me, of course. thank you Lord for autofocus settings..and cropping..somebody can take photos of me using my camera now.}

my age matters

sigh, to be young and beautiful...

and yet have the wisdom we have now as our older selves,

life must be rosy..



***

age matters, when you start to forget things

when you start looking at yourself in the mirror

and see more lines than you welcome

and your back can only tolerate a little beating,

and your knees creak for every dance you attempt.


although i would choose my age now over

years before,

and the wisdom over past mistakes,

i am not too proud to admit

i would still want a body like that!

(tongue in cheek) =)



**

{photo: the wonderful Sarah E.}...=)

spammed

i almost had the urge to open a spam mail titled "Babies from china for sale".

but i didnt. it goes to show how broody i am

i didnt open it because one: i know its a con for gullible people.

second: because it will only confirm how desperate i am (*sniggers at self*).


blame it on babies i see every single day of my life. they're just so cute and adorable.

and of course, the maternal instinct in me is kicking in.

it has since 2003,hehe.

but really, how can i be a good mother when i could hardly be bothered to do some running around and playing endless in the park? (im too lazy)

i can never be a good mother that i can only take coo-ing adorable ones, and when they start to cry, i develop a migraine.

i love waking up late (when its a weekend).

i love staying up late (every night).

and with my health problems, the child will end up being my carer when s/he is 5 years old.

all these point to me being an unsuitable mother.


but all's not lost. there are some things i could do, in my own humble way.

for sure: the child will have the best parties and photos any child could ask for.

and if its girl, she'll have a cosmetic collection fit for celebrity.

so universe, 2 out of 10, is better than nil.

err, excuse me..

...thats that.

photobooth love

this post is quite childish and so full of self-love.

behold,you might get an allergic reaction to photos of my face,LOL.



***

i just discovered recently how i enjoy playing with the photobooth on my computer.

since i had my Macbook pro in January, i never tinkered with the apps except for processing of my photos and emails.

my sister and i played with the photobooth once, but that was temporary act of boredom.

now, its addictive to play vain and vapid infront of it and you can also you around with the effects.

i especially love the video part of the photobooth.

i must say, once you own a Macbook, you'd be very shy from using your old computer.

my fave part especially? the keypads on my mac. it has a beautiful touch to it.

i am smitten.

me and my bijoux..










please forgive me, i do find these pics from the photobooth 'nicer' shots of me...the small pixels clears out a zit-infested face, and i could control which angle i am shot from, LOL..

haaay, sige nalang gud, pag bigyan kay gibati ug kaanyag..x