*stayed up late to greet Ana,a happy birthday. so proud of you Ana, you know that..
*drugged up to my eyeballs with painkillers due to an ever recurring abcessed tooth. long story. painful.
*picking up my SADE tickets on wednesday. or thursday. i forgot now. i cant chance them sending it to me, and i'm not at home to accept the delivery. adrian's first gift for my graduation. (many to come,i concur).
*excited for THE festival of the YEAR. the London Taste Festival.(the festival where all you do is enjoy London's famous restaurants in all of Regent's park). Adrian and i have been getting VIP tickets every year. but this time, were getting VVIP. we have access to the exclusive "secret garden". what its about, i have no idea.
*thesis....
*fever..maybe due to the abcessed tooth.
*incessantly you-tube-ing some clips about lechon. crispy skinned, soft, breaking meat...yes, thats my kind of porn.
*sadly, i have been only having soup today due to the tooth. painful.
*and already i lost weight..mostly, from lost hair than weight. painful.
**
if i had a magic carpet, Adrian and i will be in cebu right now enjoying a pool day out with Ana,and her "kids". yes, my sister is celebrating her birthday with our neighbours children. lovely human being my sister..more than i could ever be.
Monday, 23 May 2011
Saturday, 21 May 2011
ragolfgen
ive been called many names before. rogan, roger, regan, ragu, reggae, raggi and rangen..
nothing, beats this.
ragolfgen.
its a nice brand name...for impotency tablets. or a horse manure fertilizer.
**
notice the email. apparently, the tickets they sent to my house was sent back.
hmmn, maybe they were looking for a mr. ragolfgen.
nothing, beats this.
ragolfgen.
its a nice brand name...for impotency tablets. or a horse manure fertilizer.
notice the email. apparently, the tickets they sent to my house was sent back.
hmmn, maybe they were looking for a mr. ragolfgen.
no one in their right mind wants to admit they're named that.
not even for a sade ticket.
Thursday, 19 May 2011
oh the irony
after writing about my food addiction,and that it is hard battling this weight, the least you expect is me,to be writing about this entry.
its my diversion to my busy student brain, to allude to the goodies i have succumbed to the last few weeks,and because i have been weak.
i dont know why, ive been craving for really good burgers ever since i started my thesis (no there's no 'burger' in my paper,haha). not the macdonalds kind. yummy tasty steak burgers.
we went to richoux,down st.johns high street one day, and gave in to carnal needs (char!).
its my diversion to my busy student brain, to allude to the goodies i have succumbed to the last few weeks,and because i have been weak.
i dont know why, ive been craving for really good burgers ever since i started my thesis (no there's no 'burger' in my paper,haha). not the macdonalds kind. yummy tasty steak burgers.
we went to richoux,down st.johns high street one day, and gave in to carnal needs (char!).
**
tasty juicy gourmet burger...
my kryptonite..calamares and burger and fries.
**
you must be thinking, "enough already, get a grip".
yes,i am a human car crash. no self pity in that admission. just sadness.
pure sadness that i am one big mess.
how about you? what have you been craving lately?
Tuesday, 17 May 2011
this has to be said
for a long time this has been playing on my mind. not only because some people also went through it but through my own experiences as well.
the superficial things people say against us, our weight,height,skin colour and our 'look', may be an issue to people who do not know us, but people who do, they see beyond it, and look past it. its not an issue to them. if they do comment about it, its more about their concern about our health, nothing catty, not at all.
when people make fun of us to our knowledge, to make us joke-worthy because they think being 'fat' is a joke for their consumption, they are in their minds, actually making sense why someone would still be 'fat' when its not the 'norm' in philippine culture. they think by saying it out loud and vocalizng it think its actually funny. it may be..to those who are ill-mannered and ill-educated.
newsflash: we don't set out to be this weight. we don't want to be this weight, but there is obviously an underlying need to stuff ourselves with food. that is THE problem.the emotional eating is the culprit and the symptom (sign) is the weight. some people have overcome this need, this emotional eating (a great feat!), but some are still struggling with it, its a hard battle. anyone who has been on a diet and an exercise plan would agree with me when i say, its not an easy job and not everyone succeeds.
let me quote the beautiful actress, Mila Kunis (Live Magazine,May 15 issue) when she said "it took 5 months to lose 20 lbs for Black Swan, but 5 days to put it all back on" for her role in the said movie.
Ms. Kunis in her hollywood stature of physical trainers, gruelling regime of exercise and macrobiotic-thousand-dollar-per-meal chefs and staff, took such effort to lose the pounds and realized that it only takes a fry-up bacon and milkshake to put back all the hardwork to zero. what hope does that leave us mere mortals, whose schedules are impossible to attain a 5 hour day exercise training plan and cannot shell out hundreds of monies for kitchen staff that can whip up at our demand, a low-calorie-nutrionally-balanced meal?
by no means im saying to be healthy slim is impossible, because it is. but i am first to admit it is hard. a struggle for those who are battling an emotional attachment to food. it is an addiction, a sickness that needs addressing and ALOT of help and support from everyone around us (people we live with, people we socialize with).
my friend, P, who is recovering alcoholic said to me in a very empathetic tone that he knows what a struggle it could be. in his struggle for his addiction, he threw all the liquor in his cupboard, the shopping has to be done by his girlfriend (so he could not be tempted to buy booze), stopped watching tv (for fear of adverts of alcoholic drinks),and he used to say NO to any gatherings that involve meeting in places where he could order a drink, like in a pub or bar,for 6 months. Only it was recently that he slowly re-introduced himself to the world, going to the shops with his girlfriend,and enjoying a nice meal. His girlfriend (my long suffering friend,M had to stop enjoying a glass of wine in front of him too). Both their families do not invite them over for drinks, and their friends know that they're not being unsociable for the meantime, so they understand when they have said NO the past months for barbeque and dinner invites.
P said, it would be harder for people who are battling weight problems to go through weight management because you cannot totally eliminate FOOD in our lives. if he was able to throw the booze out of his cupboard and not see a bottle of alcohol for 6 months of detox, how can people go through the normal rehab procedure of eliminating food totally? people HAVE to eat. one cannot totally eliminate food from one's house/life completely.
thus, food addiction is a different devil entirely from all other addictions.
its a hard struggle and people can go through life not succeeding in this battle.
i know i have not yet. my relationship with food is that of attachment and mutual love. i live for food, and i get such a thrill from it. and to me, food should always be appreciated in its best state.
the superficial things people say against us, our weight,height,skin colour and our 'look', may be an issue to people who do not know us, but people who do, they see beyond it, and look past it. its not an issue to them. if they do comment about it, its more about their concern about our health, nothing catty, not at all.
when people make fun of us to our knowledge, to make us joke-worthy because they think being 'fat' is a joke for their consumption, they are in their minds, actually making sense why someone would still be 'fat' when its not the 'norm' in philippine culture. they think by saying it out loud and vocalizng it think its actually funny. it may be..to those who are ill-mannered and ill-educated.
newsflash: we don't set out to be this weight. we don't want to be this weight, but there is obviously an underlying need to stuff ourselves with food. that is THE problem.the emotional eating is the culprit and the symptom (sign) is the weight. some people have overcome this need, this emotional eating (a great feat!), but some are still struggling with it, its a hard battle. anyone who has been on a diet and an exercise plan would agree with me when i say, its not an easy job and not everyone succeeds.
let me quote the beautiful actress, Mila Kunis (Live Magazine,May 15 issue) when she said "it took 5 months to lose 20 lbs for Black Swan, but 5 days to put it all back on" for her role in the said movie.
Ms. Kunis in her hollywood stature of physical trainers, gruelling regime of exercise and macrobiotic-thousand-dollar-per-meal chefs and staff, took such effort to lose the pounds and realized that it only takes a fry-up bacon and milkshake to put back all the hardwork to zero. what hope does that leave us mere mortals, whose schedules are impossible to attain a 5 hour day exercise training plan and cannot shell out hundreds of monies for kitchen staff that can whip up at our demand, a low-calorie-nutrionally-balanced meal?
by no means im saying to be healthy slim is impossible, because it is. but i am first to admit it is hard. a struggle for those who are battling an emotional attachment to food. it is an addiction, a sickness that needs addressing and ALOT of help and support from everyone around us (people we live with, people we socialize with).
my friend, P, who is recovering alcoholic said to me in a very empathetic tone that he knows what a struggle it could be. in his struggle for his addiction, he threw all the liquor in his cupboard, the shopping has to be done by his girlfriend (so he could not be tempted to buy booze), stopped watching tv (for fear of adverts of alcoholic drinks),and he used to say NO to any gatherings that involve meeting in places where he could order a drink, like in a pub or bar,for 6 months. Only it was recently that he slowly re-introduced himself to the world, going to the shops with his girlfriend,and enjoying a nice meal. His girlfriend (my long suffering friend,M had to stop enjoying a glass of wine in front of him too). Both their families do not invite them over for drinks, and their friends know that they're not being unsociable for the meantime, so they understand when they have said NO the past months for barbeque and dinner invites.
P said, it would be harder for people who are battling weight problems to go through weight management because you cannot totally eliminate FOOD in our lives. if he was able to throw the booze out of his cupboard and not see a bottle of alcohol for 6 months of detox, how can people go through the normal rehab procedure of eliminating food totally? people HAVE to eat. one cannot totally eliminate food from one's house/life completely.
thus, food addiction is a different devil entirely from all other addictions.
its a hard struggle and people can go through life not succeeding in this battle.
i know i have not yet. my relationship with food is that of attachment and mutual love. i live for food, and i get such a thrill from it. and to me, food should always be appreciated in its best state.
food means so much in the equation of things. in a party, the food has to be right and great for me to say i enjoyed a party.
the daily battle to win over the need to overeat is a constant daily slug. sometimes i win, most oftentimes, it wins me over. (although for the moment, i am not battling it, i am letting go for the meantime as i'm also busy with my thesis, and food has been my constant friend all throughout---my clutch,more like it).
so when i hear people making fun of other people's weight infront of the person,to make them feel embarassed about it, it angers and frustrates me. what for? why make fun of them and embarrass them?
it all boils down to education and knowledge.
look at these people who do that (comments about people's weight or appearance). normally, these people have not seen a back of a book, nor have they travelled to different parts of the world and has seen that there are 'other' norms out there. people do not fit in boxes, and people actually do come out of different colour, height and weight. and if they look/sound different, there are reasons for it.
most importantly, these are people who do not know us, our character and our skills and abilities.people who do, they actually forget about our weight on a day-to-day basis,but would tell us wholeheartedly when they feel it impinges on our ability to lead a good healthy life.
so when i hear people making fun of other people's weight infront of the person,to make them feel embarassed about it, it angers and frustrates me. what for? why make fun of them and embarrass them?
it all boils down to education and knowledge.
look at these people who do that (comments about people's weight or appearance). normally, these people have not seen a back of a book, nor have they travelled to different parts of the world and has seen that there are 'other' norms out there. people do not fit in boxes, and people actually do come out of different colour, height and weight. and if they look/sound different, there are reasons for it.
most importantly, these are people who do not know us, our character and our skills and abilities.people who do, they actually forget about our weight on a day-to-day basis,but would tell us wholeheartedly when they feel it impinges on our ability to lead a good healthy life.
people who do know us, forget the shape of our silhouette and are attracted to the finer details of our person, our features,our personalities,our capabilities and our demeanor--what we can bring to the table, our relationship with them. our weight is just a number and has no measure to the 'fun' we bring to the equation.
so next time, you hear someone make a joke about someone else's weight and his/her friends laugh about it? please do me a favour. tell them to think of a better punchline.
so next time, you hear someone make a joke about someone else's weight and his/her friends laugh about it? please do me a favour. tell them to think of a better punchline.
(or maybe, punch the lines out of their giggles,lol)
**
(note: by no means am i an advocate of being overweight, not at all. i would love to be a healthy, average, size. i just hate bullying and prejudice in all forms.)
(note: by no means am i an advocate of being overweight, not at all. i would love to be a healthy, average, size. i just hate bullying and prejudice in all forms.)
Tuesday, 10 May 2011
the possibility of wealth
i had an idea arising from events yesterday.
i went to the university for my exams and of course i saw my friends. every single one, commented " you look tired" or "bless, you look extra tired today,ragen"..now, if you know british culture, saying to a woman they look tired, is an opposite way of saying "you look pretty today" without being mean. you don't say it, unless you are concerned they are not feeling well.
truth be told, i did feel it. but i didnt realize that it showed underneath all that natural-make-up effort i did for my interview (we had a BIG oral examination infront of a panel of multi-disciplinary teams of doctors,nurses, social workers, physiotherapists and occupational therapist as part of the pre-graduation licensure). {so there was some legibility for that tiredness,ha! lol}
i was on adrenaline high the entire morning which kept me buzzing and alert, and by afternoon, my energy was waning, by then i was getting the comments of 'tiredness' .
i went to the loo to check my face,bless my friends,they were just being polite, not only did i look tired, but i looked like i aged 20 years more than my time and just looked maka-lolooy. (this is what studying does to you, i really will not recommend it,hehe).
a eureka moment hit me.
a photo taken during holy week..i wasn't so tired then..(i decided not to post a photo of how i looked yesterday. its my moneymaker ;-)
**
how are you, my loyal readers and visitors? i wish that you're more rested and more glowing than i have been these days.
i went to the university for my exams and of course i saw my friends. every single one, commented " you look tired" or "bless, you look extra tired today,ragen"..now, if you know british culture, saying to a woman they look tired, is an opposite way of saying "you look pretty today" without being mean. you don't say it, unless you are concerned they are not feeling well.
truth be told, i did feel it. but i didnt realize that it showed underneath all that natural-make-up effort i did for my interview (we had a BIG oral examination infront of a panel of multi-disciplinary teams of doctors,nurses, social workers, physiotherapists and occupational therapist as part of the pre-graduation licensure). {so there was some legibility for that tiredness,ha! lol}
i was on adrenaline high the entire morning which kept me buzzing and alert, and by afternoon, my energy was waning, by then i was getting the comments of 'tiredness' .
i went to the loo to check my face,bless my friends,they were just being polite, not only did i look tired, but i looked like i aged 20 years more than my time and just looked maka-lolooy. (this is what studying does to you, i really will not recommend it,hehe).
a eureka moment hit me.
i will become wealthy if all my entrepreneural plans will push through. i will sell photos of me to scare away pests in your household. that or maybe a BEFORE photo to plastic surgery.
only £3.99. (mahal ang printing noh!).
**
i came home from the exam tired. i slept for 5 hours, and woke up at 7:30 pm when adrian asked whether i want to eat dinner.
**
i miss my blog. but a few more weeks, back to active blogger/internet monster nasad akong job title;-)
only £3.99. (mahal ang printing noh!).
**
i came home from the exam tired. i slept for 5 hours, and woke up at 7:30 pm when adrian asked whether i want to eat dinner.
**
i miss my blog. but a few more weeks, back to active blogger/internet monster nasad akong job title;-)
see you,soon! x
a photo taken during holy week..i wasn't so tired then..(i decided not to post a photo of how i looked yesterday. its my moneymaker ;-)
**
how are you, my loyal readers and visitors? i wish that you're more rested and more glowing than i have been these days.
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