when you miss when you shouldn't

let me first start this entry by appreciating the beauty of the weekend that we just had. beautiful weather,  lovely experiences with some awesome friends who came by to spend the weekend at our tiny home.

truly a beautiful weekend that was.

monday was a bank holiday, thus tuesday started as the first day of work. work is not really work when the company sends you to a three day training, and finishes early enough to come home to sunshine and finding your husband getting you a nice snack as a homecoming present and lets you 'nap' in the sofa, because he knows how sleep is a problem for you.

i felt really emotional all of a sudden, because of the beautiful weather, and the wonderfulness of the people you deal with day-to-day. i missed cebu, because our trainor was talking about how he lived in cebu for a a few months to dive. i was proud, of course, of my beautiful island.

then the drive back to home was passing by beautiful fields of flowers and hills and oh, just indescribably beautiful. i just miss the people i love, because i wish so much i could share this with them. (soon, soon).

then i realised, it must be the time of the month where my hormones turn me into a mush of dramatic emotions. i become such an emotional sop whenever i am hormonal. i crave for foods which could lead me to an early death, and i am missing my family more than i normally do, and i am missing some few people i shouldn't miss.

still, i am happy, i get through these emotions. otherwise, i'd be back to my 'focused, goal-orientated, robot-like-devoid-of-human-emotion' person i sometimes see myself to be. (ok, exaggeration on the robot-like, haha, but i can be very too focused on certain goals that i blank out all other feelings that could distract me.)

well,well, i am human after all.

**

thank you to you my lovely friends who still visit this blog, even though the cobwebs are evident and that the owner has been very neglectful to write down things.

lately, i have been very unmotivated to write things down but then my sister Ana has inspired me to write again. she told me in her email that she was writing again for me, to make me happy and to inspire me. how awesome is that from your much missed sister? *dabbing away tears* (and thank you to friends who support my sister in your own ways, whatever you do for her, you do for me 100x).

***

how are you,lately? 

wishes for Roi

(a photo of Roi, when he visited me in England in 2009)

a lot of people do not know that my brother was born very tiny, just almost 6 ounces and the size of a kitten in the palm of your hand. he was always thin and sickly when he was young, and my mom had trouble feeding him.

because he was so sickly and tiny (and short), he would be the butt of mine and my other brother's pranks. Roi would end up just either in  corner observing or laughing out his older sibling's pranks like a little meek kitten.

in a few years of recurrent hospital admissions, and a good number of United American Tiki-tiki vitamins, Roi  grew (in bulk, hehe, peace,bro...) and he also was becoming the charmer that he is to peers and to family--his sense of humour just is unparalleled and he has the best company one would be in luck to share with. (he also is a very good actor. in his high school, he would always do theatre and acting productions as part of his extra-curricular activities. even years later at work, he would always be production leader for any presentations. what can i say, nagmana sa ate! LOL).

he is always my number one ally (we one time left the house, and 'layas' together,hahaha), and i will always have a soft spot for him because he is such a doting brother, and i will always miss his company when i'm anywhere in cebu without him. plus-- we share the love of food. (thank you American tiki-tiki that you made him enjoy food,haha).

[this entry is to tell him how much i love him, because it's no use if i will shower someone i love with such adoration when they are not around anymore. (not that he is going anywhere, simbako!). ]

today is his birthday and i want to tell him all in one blog entry what he means to me and to us as family. but i failed because this space is not enough..

so let me just wish him some of my wishes for him.

**

Dear Roi,

i wish you good health-- a long healthy fruitful life.

i wish you a productive career that you wanted--one that involves busy kitchens and hot burning ovens (your idea of heaven)

i wish you a wonderful ageless love with your equally lovely wife,S-- one that involves healthy dose of romance and less of the challenges, but enough to keep the love warm and beautiful.

i wish myself a world of many mini-you's. because really, i know you will be a wonderful father, and most of all we all need more of you in this world: someone always cheerful and light to be around with, happy and funny and just a great person all around.

i love you. i miss you, my tiny little brother (yes, in my mind, you are still the scrawny tiny one).


love,

Chewy