dear me

old photos taken at our Lola Toyang's house in Seaview. myself,and the cousins and of course,Lola Toyang..

i think i was 17 by then..just started my 1st year in college.

**

A letter to my 16 year old self

{inspired by Joseph Galliano's book: Dear Me; A letter to your 16 year old self with excerpts from Annie Lennox and other inspiring people}


Dear Me,

Breathe.. Its ok to not be in a rush and be too black and white about the world around you. Life is too short and before you know it, these moments pass you by. Breathe, enjoy the moment. Pause. Feel. Do not over think life's seemingly harsh events. These are your education to get where you want to be.

Do not kiss frogs because there's a promise they become princes. They dont. They are frogs forever.

But do not be too harsh o yourself for mistakes you have done. They will serve as your template on what not to do next time.

And even if you know some people will hurt you for being there in your life, engage and embrace them. The moments that they were there and they made you happy is still worth it for the bad taste they leave in your mouth afterwards. Always always remember the good times. They count. A lot.


Take videos of everyone, and most esp your Papa. We know your penchant for photos and keeping them (sadly we know the great fire in the Linao house has past), but videos are great to hear and remember how they act,they laugh and their expressions. While photos are interpreted by the viewer, videos are spoonfed to you,how they are,and how they act, a glimpse of their character in a few minutes given in a situation. Interview them. {Suggestion: interview your Papa. Video record it,and ask him questions you've been wanting to know from him. Keep it. For your sake keep it,with all your might. That will keep you in good stead,my child.}


Solicit people's/friends/love ones' opinion. No one is an island. Not even you.

Watch out for your dearest best friend,K. She is one of the strongest constants in your life. Hail,storm,and sunny seasons. But do not expect her to go with technology (computer related). She cant be perfect,hahaha. But she is there where she matters and where she is needed from thick to thin brows,jeans and waist, she is there. ALWAYS.


Do not be a cynic on relationships just because someone hurt you. You will find the greatest man who will truly love ad appreciate you even at your worst. He is just coming give it 8 years later.


And for everything else, keep up the good work. Your love for your family and your love for your friends will keep you strong and steady at times when you feel you are away and alone.


Love,

YOU.


**

If you had a chance to write to your 16 year old self, what will it say?

having him close

my father loved radio, since i could remember (among many other things, he was virtually a man of many interests from reading, movies and other hobbies). but radio was our bond. we were the ones in the family who hovered and made use of the radio for various reasons.


he listens to the news,he listens to music and has his radio turned on every waking hour of his day, (esp in the last few years of his life) from morning til early hours in the next morning. the first thing you could hear in the wee hours of the morning, is the music on his radio which he keeps close to him, which signals normally he was already awake, or he and my mama would be talking.

i still long for my father, until now. i miss talking to him, and making him laugh over the phone. i miss that.

but i am thankful i have so many memories to relive about him. and because of these memories we have our secret language from here to wherever he is.


**

whenever i hear this song, i am always reminded of early mornings woken up by this particular song softly blaring from papa's radio.





whenever i hear this song from Debbie Reynolds, it reminds me of memories of papa listening to some AM station autoplaying pre-programmed repetitive playlist.

it holds many memories of being close to him, even if he was in another part of the house (in the kitchen) but knowing we were in one roof, safe and we will be sharing later on a day together.


this time,i woke up in the middle of a disturbed sleep, i accidentally listened to "Tammy's in love" from a classics channel, it brought some wonderful feelings. i miss him so much. and although it saddens me knowing that in the daybreak, i wont get to chat to him and share breakfast with him, we are still connected.

this is him and i, communicating.


**




if your fathers are still alive, hug them, make a point to try to be close to them. build alot of memories with him so that they could still be close even if when they're far.